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What a difference a week — and seven years — makes on Riverdale. Over the past four seasons the series has basically rebooted with a new season-long storyline each year (although The Black Hood was one element that always seemed to remain somewhere in the background) while still following the lives of the core four from their first day of high school to the last. And, as in life, even these lifelong friends ended up going their separate ways, failing to live up to the promise to reunite at Pop’s Chock-Lit Shop once a year. And now sever years have passed and this season premiere feels exactly like a reboot (and would have felt even more so if there had been a proper ‘summer break’ between the ‘Season 4 finale’ graduation episode and the ‘Season 5 premiere” even though this is technically Episode 4). And it’s fate that first brings one of the group back home.
Archie
Archie Andrews has served in the military these last seven years, but an incident on the battlefield has left him with what appears to be PTSD, although it’s never mentioned explicitly. But we see Archie’s nightmare of a battle on the Riverdale High football field, Cheryl, Veronica and his other friends cheering him on as his brothers are being killed and injured all around him. As he tries to save one man, he comes face-to-face with Hiram Lodge holding a pistol to Archie’s face. That wakes him from the nightmare only to find he’s being sent home, back to Riverdale to bring the high school’s ROTC program back to life. There may be a bigger reason why it’s died off that no one is aware of yet.
Returning home, Archie stops at Pop’s and is greeted by Tabitha Tate (we’ll assume Pop’s granddaughter?) who tells him he can have some coffee or head downstairs for something stronger. Archie is confused … is the speakeasy open again? Not quite. It seems the Serpents have returned and revived the White Wyrm, now under the new Serpent Queen’s control, Toni Topaz. Toni is performing then pulls up a seat with Archie, filling him in a bit as Kevin, Fangs and Sweet Pea join them. Toni and Cheryl broke up, but Kevin and Fangs are still together, and Toni and Kevin work at the high school. Also … Toni is pregnant but she’s not telling who the father is. Yet. They tell Archie things in Riverdale are grim and she offers to give him a tour the next day.
Veronica
Ronnie is back in New York City, now married for a year to Wall Street hot shot Chadwick Gekko (really). But things are great for the couple since ‘the accident’. The pair had been a force to be reckoned with on Wall Street, Veronica even referring to herself as the ‘She-Wolf of Wall Street’, but Chad insisted she take a less stressful job at Lacy’s department store so they can concentrate on having a family. Chad doesn’t understand that no one puts Ronnie in a corner, but a quick chat with her mother (nice to see Marisol Nichols making an appearance) helps her understand that being more successful than her husband is threatening to an alpha male. But when Chad finds out Veronica isn’t working at Lacy’s (she’s heading the counter at some kind of high end jewelers where one might say mob types come to buy apology presents for their women), things hit the fan. But Chad surprisingly resets their anniversary a day later, offering her a brand new Glamorgé Egg as a peace offering (and to get her in bed), which she promptly takes to the jewelry store and sells. (We finally learn that ‘the accident’ involved both of them in a helicopter crash on the way to Marsha’s Vineyard. No, that’s not a typo.) Chad’s not going to be happy when he finds out, but he may not find out any time soon as Ronnie’s phone rings. It’s Archie.
Betty
Betty is now an FBI agent at Quantico, and it would be safe to say she’s sort of the new Clarice Starling, having tracked a serial killer known as the ‘Trash Bag Killer’ to his lair and being imprisoned in a well for two weeks similar to the one Buffalo Bill had in The Silence of the Lambs. Her carelessness also allowed TBK to escape, and now she’s dealing with the consequences, namely nightmares that she lies are non-existent but the therapist can see right through her lies and won’t let her go back out into the field. Betty also has a boyfriend, Glen, who is also an agent but she would rather spend time at home alone than have dinner with him. After being denied another field assignment, Betty also gets a call from Archie just when she needs it most, and leaves Glen to take care of her cat.
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Jughead
Forsythe Jones is now a published author — a single book — living in Alphabet City, New York. Attempting to start a new novel, Jones is consumed by writer’s block, booze and a massive amount of debt. He needs to come up with some pages for the publisher before he loses his advance. His girlfriend has had enough and walks out on him, so he heads to the nearest bar to drown his sorrows. There he meets a young woman, Cora, a fan whom he brings back to his apartment to really forget about his troubles. The next morning she admits she wants him to read her 324 page novel and maybe give it to his publisher. Before he can say anything, some ‘debt collectors’ pound on the door. He gets Cora to lie that Jughead (he tells Cora that’s what his friends call him) just left for Los Angeles for a new writing gig on a TV show. After they leave, she warns Juggie that if he doesn’t read her novel by the end of the week, she knows who she can call to take care of him. He starts to read and his phone rings.
Riverdale
Toni gives Archie a tour. The fire house has been burned and gutted, the police department is now just one man, Kevin’s father. The people who could afford to get out of town did, while those too poor to leave are basically out on the streets (we do not see Betty’s mom in this episode, so we don’t know what she’s been up to or if she still lives in their house). The last straw for Archie is learning that the Goolies have basically become squatters in his old house. Toni also reveals that after she returned to Riverdale she did try to see Cheryl, who has basically locked herself away in the under reconstruction Thorn Hill along with Nana Blossom, indulging in her new obsession — painting. She dismisses Toni, telling her now is not a good time but to come back later. Toni does, and encounters Hiram and Reggie (yes, Reggie is Hiram’s strong arm now) attempting to force Cheryl to sell her maple grove to him. She refuses, again, and invites Toni in, asking if she can paint her. Toni agrees so they can talk but it’s not much of a conversation. Cheryl knows all there is to know about Toni, except who the father of her baby is, and tells her beloved TT that while she does love her, the Blossom curse has doomed her to live a solitary life at Thorn Hill. In fact, she following in the footsteps of Sarah Winchester, continually building and adding to Thorn Hill to keep the curse at bay. The next day, the painting arrived at the White Wyrm, Toni believing Cheryl didn’t want to keep it for herself as a reminder. What she doesn’t know is that Cheryl does have an exact copy, and Nana Blossom is impressed, wondering now if Cheryl is skilled enough to copy the work of a master like Rembrandt? Nana Blossom! What game are you playing with your dear granddaughter, and is Cheryl willfully holed up at Thorn Hill or is she a prisoner?
Archie returns to Pop’s and we’re a bit surprised to see him considering the last time Toni mentioned him when Archie first returned, it seemed like something had happened to him. But he’s happy to see Pop Tate and Pop is happy to see him, telling him he’s missed Archie and his friends. Looking over at ‘their booth’, Archie is thrilled to see Jughead, Betty and Veronica. He apparently had told them that Pop was retiring and wanted them to come back for a party. he also insists that Toni join them, finally bringing her into the group, and tells them what Hiram is doing — attempting to completely bankrupt Riverdale so he can run a new highway through town to his new, high end property, Sodale. Archie says if they don’t stop Hiram, there won’t be a Riverdale left.
But that’s not all. We briefly see a young blonde woman whom Tabitha calls ‘Squeaky’ (real name Lynette … an obvious reference to Lynette ‘Squeaky’ Fromme of the Charles Manson cult). Lynette came to Riverdale two years earlier but never found what she was looking for so it was time to hit the road, hoping to find a better life in San Francisco. Walking down the dark highway, Lynette gets the attention of a truck driver coming her way. The truck stops (and she must have missed the terrifying skeleton on the grill), she contemplates for a moment about climbing into the cab, but she does. Jughead’s voice over tells us Lynette never made it to San Francisco. Is she the latest victim of the Trash Bag Killer? Has he tracked Betty back to Riverdale? A new mystery begins.
What did you think of this episode? Let us know what you think in the comments section below.
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