Grey’s Anatomy :: Help, I’m Alive

ABC

How old is Bailey again? Not Bailey Bailey – but Mer’s son … who was born in Season – Nine? When Derek was still alive and well and not dead. And it’s Season 15 … and then there was that entire ‘Mer missed a year’ right after Derek died and she ran away to Boston to have Ellis … so … that makes five. Right? Well, five or eight … he’s having his 5th birthday party – which is props to Mer turning out to be the type of mother she was afraid she’d never be. (Also shouldn’t Maggie be mid to late 30s? Mer’s only five years older than her … and yes we know she was a super teenage medical prodigy but when Teddy called her a 20-something – NO ONE IS BUYING MER IS ONLY a young-to-mid 30-something …)

So aside from the fact that our canon stretches and ages don’t always fit the bill … this episode was all over the place. The sexy romantic characters of ‘Get It On Grey-Sloan’ have been replaced by a dork-tastic Jr. High-grade hormone level of PG+ cuteness and it was WEIRD. And has anyone else noticed that we can only afford three interns at a time? Last week it was Qadri, Schmidt, and Helm. This week it’s Helm, Schmidt, and Parker. So we’ve got four interns, but we only ever see three at a time … what is with that?

I keep forgetting we ditched Kepner at the end of last season and wondering why the pit is so under staffed … but that aside … why is it that when the pit is overflowing with flu-symptoms and EVERY OTHER PERSON IN SCRUBS is wearing a facial mask – DeLuca is free-facing? Also, yay for DeLuca stepping up after that unfortunate incident in the OR (and HOW is that anesthesiologist still with us? Guess we can’t all be Ben …) That moment where Karev gave him the ‘attaboy’ was deeper than I think Shonda & crew meant it to be. Does no one remember how he basically pulverized DeLuca and then almost went to jail on felony charges but DeLuca ultra-manned up at the last second and dropped the charges? So that little backwards moment of Interim Chief Karev telling him he did great and good work … very, very messed up on deep levels of trauma from seasons past.

ABC

Could totally take or leave Owen’s half of this nonsense – right up to and including the whole ‘take my job, Teddy.’ Didn’t Cristina say exactly that except in reverse, ‘give me your job, Teddy. Take Owen.’ And this whole wizard of Oz ‘home all along’ nonsense with Amelia at the end … well, we’ve heard it all before. MULTIPLE times before. From Owen. WITH EVERYONE. Including Amelia. BEFORE. Though that ‘no, I was literally paralyzed’ was super cute.

We get Bailey (real Bailey, temporarily not-chief Bailey) all patched up, well on the road to whole and healed, but we’ve sprung another disastrous leak in our strong women powerhouse. This time it’s Catherine. And what a leak! That totally deserved tantrum was just too much. And when she breaks down with the ‘discussing it with you two makes it true’ (admittedly not before getting her cheeky digs in with ‘damn skippy’) it’s just harrowing and truly gut-punching. Love that Jackson stuck up for Richard over the bar, and that Richard is still trying to figure out his AA situation. He does need a sponsor and quick – regardless of how her surgery goes next week (and I swear the blink of a flash of a child that we saw that is most likely meant to be Harriet looks way way WAY too old to be a child of Harriet’s age … but maybe she’s got Derek Bailey Shepherd’s aging disorder but in reverse …)

Schmidt is coming into his own, and I love that Niko is backing him up with that, even if he is going to poke his eye out trying to wear contacts. Koracick has decided to flirt with Teddy now (after what was clearly a deleted scene where he learned that Jo is married. To the interim chief.) Who won’t he flirt with? Though that will solve a problem … right up until Owen decides he’s un-done with her, which should come around the week after next (as next week is clearly all about whether or not Catherine lives or dies … and every time we get a ‘most powerful episode’ type warning … it usually doesn’t bode well for the character.)

Finally, the Mjölner in the room … Atticus Lincoln. Link. SO. ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE. One second he’s way too childish and discombobulated for Mer. But the next he’s all like the perfect dad who fits the family scene at the birthday party and Mer is really warming up to him, a la Riggs. He’s like Derek if Derek were ever an intern/resident in our time with all the hardened charm of Riggs except instead of being brutally hot he’s cute with a streak of sassy. It’s just such a weird fit. (And what about DeLuca?) Can’t we just have Riggs back? Or better yet – realize there was some grave mistake and that Derek is really alive in a John Doe’s cabbage patch somewhere – who gets brought in for falling out of bed and then follows someone’s voice like Mer had that one time with that one patient when she was an intern … I guess if we’ve got to have one, arguably Link has less history that could go poorly as far as the world of Meredith Grey is concerned. But he was totally cute with Bailey.

Hold your breath, Grey’s fans, next week is an utter coin toss over the life and fate of Catherine Fox. (And everything else – including Jaggie & O’Meliaeddy – and MerLuca/MerLink goes on hold …)

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursday at 8:00 PM on ABC.

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