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Boy do I have some bones to pick with this week’s Dynasty. Starting with the title of the episode. It make zero sense. Yeah, there was a rescue but ‘Robin Hood’? This was the rich stealing from the rich for the benefit of the rich. But we’ll get to that.
Dumb Plotline #1
This whole ‘House of Devereaux’ thing is pretty stupid to begin with, and now that Culhane knows Dom and Vanessa are just using him, it’s thankfully come to a close. But along the way this week, Dom thought that the implausible success of her reality show would (a) give her the power to make insane demands during negotiations for a second season, and (b) would already parlay that success into a guaranteed three-year talk show deal positioning her to become the new Oprah. All Dom got in the end was played by Culhane. The producers of her show pulled the plug because of her demands, and the agent promising her the talk show was an actor which gave Culhane and Kirby great satisfaction, and ended whatever relationship he had with Vanessa. It’s anyone’s guess what they’ll do with Dominique next but perhaps while production is shut down everyone can grab the original series DVD and see what really makes Dynasty work.
Dumb Plotline #2
Alexis gave some advice on her podcast which a listener took literally and now Alexis and Fallon’s company are being sued. Alexis basically said the woman should take the wheel and guide her life into a new direction. Now any sane person who isn’t a Dynasty writer would know that was a metaphor, not an actual suggestion to drive yourself into an accident. But the woman, with a broken arm and leg, is holding Alexis responsible and Fallon’s $1000/hour lawyers are doing a terrible job at not having this case laughed out of court. But Evan Tate shows up out of the blue to offer Fallon some advice – settle the case or she risks putting her new company out of business. Fallon, usually a much smarter cookie, agrees and tries to force Alexis to sign something to make this all go away. But Alexis decides she’s going to visit the woman at her apartment to try and convince her this was all a misunderstanding. All she does is insult the woman’s education and wardrobe. Fallon shows up and tries to drag Alexis out while also insulting the woman’s shoes, and somehow Alexis accidentally kicks the woman in the stomach. In the hallway, mother and daughter realize they’re not such great people but the mud on the ugly doormat clues Fallon in that the muddy shoes she saw in the apartment could only have been worn by someone with two unbroken legs. Who didn’t see that the woman was faking from the moment this dumb plotline was introduced? The only good part of the whole story was that it bonded Fallon and Alexis. Of course, the whole lawsuit was set up by Evan because he wants Fallon, so now he has to go another route to fulfill his obsession.
Dumb Plotline #3
Thankfully the shortest of the plotlines, but Cristal is still fretting over screwing the hot priest at the top of the episode, and by the end she’s got her bags packed to leave, telling Blake she needs time to herself but not admitting why. Anyone remember what happened to the OG Cristal from Season 1 when she moved into her own apartment? The question now is will Cristal 3.0 be a new actress whenever Season 4 starts?
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Dumb Plotline #4
The dumbest of the plotlines this week. How can this Dynasty take one of the most iconic and infamous stories from the original and turn it into a really stupid caper? The Moldavian Massacre was a TV event that left viewers guessing all summer as to who would live and die, and it seemed that by having Blake and Anders kidnapped by the King of Moldavia, over tankers full of stolen oil, that perhaps this would lead to a season ending cliffhanger, especially after Adam, Liam and Sam got involved with attempting a rescue operation on their own. Liam had a family contact inside the castle, so he assumed that he and Adam would just waltz in and get Blake and Anders out. Of course the contact turned on him and the four of them were in the cell together.
Meanwhile, Sam is suddenly a druggie? While completely stoned and waiting on the jet for the four to come back, he starts hallucinating Danny Trejo (appearing as himself complete with his machete) who offers him some advice — suck it up and go rescue your friends. They haven’t come back so obviously something went wrong. And he does. While high as a kite. And he somehow manages to sneak into a laundry cart, then makes his way through the duct system right to the cell. The guard arrives and is knocked out by Sam as his imaginary friend looks on from above, and they manage to get everyone out except Adam, who is still trying to make himself look good in daddy’s eyes even though his terrible escape plan was a bust. With Blake, Anders, Liam and Sam back on the jet, Blake wants to take off and send an extraction team back for Adam but Liam is insistent that they wait for Adam. A guard comes running onto the tarmac but drops his gun and somehow they all still think they’re in danger. Of course it was Adam, so now everyone is home safe and sound, Blake’s got his oil and his company, and Adam has the offer to be Blake’s Number 2 at Carrington Atlantic. But later with Kirby, Adam admits he was so hurt by Blake that he took the job just so he could get closer to his father and destroy him.
Unfortunately with production shut down before the completion of the season, Dynasty‘s ‘season finale’ is in a week leaving us two episodes and a cliffhanger short. At this point, though, the producers, writers, network and cast should just push the show into full comedy mode, making it a satire of nighttime soaps like Airplane! did with the Airport movies, because there’s no way to take any of this seriously anymore.
What did you think of this episode? Tell us in the comments section below!
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