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I half expected this episode to be the unofficial season finale of Dynasty since there was nothing on the schedule for the next couple of weeks, but there was a teaser at the end for the next episode airing on May 1. Oddly enough, this episode’s ending could have actually served as a fairly decent cliffhanger. But we’ll get to that in a minute.
What this episode did prove, however, is that the writers have no idea what to do with Sam, or Kirby for that matter. Ever since the Powers That Be made the bone-headed decision to ditch Steven (and I still have no idea why they did that since he’s one of the core characters of the show), poor Sam has been floundering. Sure, they made him the owner of La Mirage, but what’s he done of any substance since then? And his on-again-off-again ‘friendship’ with Kirby is getting tiresome. It was so bad this week that they even tried to make Sam and Jeff friends, and the desperation was palpable. Of course, by the end of the episode Sam and Kirby finally made up (two episodes seems to be the limit for these particular storylines), so let’s hope this is the last time those two feud and perhaps they’ll have more to do in the future.
Sam’s awkward intrusion on Jeff’s reunion with an old girlfriend did set up some future story drama. Jeff was not forthcoming with Mia that he’s married, and was forced to admit it when Sam blurted it out, oblivious to the cues that he was being an annoying third wheel. Later at Cristal’s gala, Sam and Jeff had a talk which revealed Jeff only married Alexis out of necessity because he was dying. Not that he’s not, he’s ready to cut her loose and pursue Mia. Something tells me it’s not going to be quite that easy.
This week’s episode was also missing a third of the regular cast: Liam, Alexis and Dominique, plus Vanessa. Having Liam ‘out of town’ to further the illusion of their break-up was fodder for Fallon to be extremely goofy this week (and Elizabeth Gillies once again turned it all into comedic gold), while the absence of Dom and Vanessa just gave Culhane one brief moment to contemplate his revenge, with the assistance of Fallon, against them for using him for their show’s ratings.
Adam had a side story this week, having been caught stealing the medication he was giving to Jeff and the hospital administrator suggesting she’d go easy on him if he went hard on her (if you know what I mean), because he was also caught having sex with Kirby in a janitor’s closet (Adam’s ‘How many cameras does this place have?’ line was pretty funny). But somehow the liver donation also seems to have given Adam a conscience, even to the point where he didn’t want to reveal the juicy bit of information he had about Cristal and Hot Priest making out. Kirby did weedle the info out of him but she swore she wouldn’t tell anyone … and then immediately started to text Sam (even before they had made up). But having that information and knowing Adam’s job was in jeopardy would come in handy.
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This all revolved around the episode’s main storyline — Cristal’s charity benefit. While Fallon was trying to figure out what lavish wedding gift she could give Liam after she found his gift to her (their first ‘marriage license’ matted and framed), and not understanding that she needed to give him something meaningful, she learned the singing duo Kelly & Donna would be performing at the event, and they just happened to be Liam’s favorite group. So she set about tricking them into believing they were all sorority sisters. Of course that blew up in her face when she didn’t know the secret handshake or the sorority chant. She did herself no favors when she took over the event and started reading Cristal’s speech, which alluded to her husband Blake. Again, Gillies perfectly sold it all. If nothing else, the writers do know what material she can work with.
For Cristal, the whole kissing the priest thing was weighing on her … well, until she figured out Blake had cheated on her with Laura Van Kirk by checking the stats of his Fitbit, which showed a spike at the very time the two were ‘talking business’. Now, we don’t know if he actually had sex with her, Cristal is just assuming but that was at the same time she was macking on Father Caleb. But their Catholic guilt was getting to them, and so neither of them would go further and really break their vows, they decided that Caleb would not make an appearance at the gala.
Blake surprised Cristal with a several million dollars diamond necklace and Fallon immediately called it out as an ‘I did something really bad’ gift. Cristal didn’t want to believe her, but that’s when she put the two-and-two together about Mrs. Van Kirk (and finding evidence in Blake’s office that she was there solidified her belief). But she still didn’t take off the necklace … until the night of the gala when Blake, who was supposed to do a dance with Cristal, suddenly left on business. She tried to rehearse with him earlier, but when she brought up the necklace, he got very defensive.
The night of the gala he learned that Van Kirk sold Carrington Atlantic back to him knowing the company’s ships with $500 million worth of oil on them were being held by the king of Moldavia. So instead of waiting five minutes to dance with his wife — because seriously, the ships weren’t going anywhere anytime soon — he flew the coop and she gave him the necklace back. Through a comedy of errors that ended with Fallon joining Donna in a duet of ‘Leather & Lace’ (Kelly apparently ‘ODed’ on appetizers and was tossing her cookies … or lobster toast), who but Sexy Priest shows up just in time to dance with Cristal. They ended up doing the horizontal mambo too, so that concern about breaking vows has certainly gone out the window.
I really expected Blake to walk in and catch them, but while they were basking in the afterglow, Cristal’s phone rang with an unlisted number. She didn’t hear it, but Adam got a call too and rushed back to the manor. I thought he’d catch Cristal and Caleb too but she was alone when he burst into her room with the shocking news — Blake and Anders have been kidnapped by the Moldavian government.
Oh, and that information Kirby had came in handy. Since the character rehabilitation of Adam continued and he refused the advances of his boss (Cristal knew he was in danger of being fired), Kirby let Cristal know that she knows about her brush with adultery and it might benefit Cristal to have a word with Adam’s boss. That threat worked but it didn’t keep Cristal from shagging Caleb!
The kidnapping news would have been a good season ending cliffhanger, but the show will return with a new episode Friday, May 1 and apparently actor Danny Trejo will be making a guest appearance as himself staying at La Mirage.
What did you think of this episode? Tell us in the comments section below!
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