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I have been asked how I can sit through an episode of Dynasty because, let’s be honest, it’s not the best show on TV. But it’s usually a load of fun and it has the exquisite Elizabeth Gillies casually tossing off humorous bon mots with ease. She’s got great comic timing and she is the show’s real saving grace. And the writers know that, often giving her some juicy storylines each week to do her thing. Fallon has actually grown, a bit, from the completely self-centered bitch to a woman who is more self-aware and aware of others. Except for this week. They totally regressed her to the old Fallon who only thinks of herself, and it wasn’t much fun.
This week Fallon dropped the news on Liam (oh hi Liam, long time no see) that she is going to buy a house because the hotel life since she left the manor is getting to be a drag. Liam is a bit surprised that she’s dropping this news on him since they haven’t talked about their living arrangements but no worry, she’s buying a house for herself, a midway point from the manor to her life with Liam. Okay, wait, stop, stop … who buys a house as a temporary living space? They don’t have rentals in Atlanta? And of course being Fallon Carrington, she’s not looking for some humble cottage, she wants a fifteen room manor … for herself! And when she learns a home she dreamed about as a child is conveniently on the market, she is prepared to give the owner briefcases full of cash to get it.
Liam is totally not on board with any of this, and it seems that this is just an excuse for the writers to drive another wedge between the couple all the fans want to just live happily ever after. If they split Liam and Fallon, there will be a revolt. At the open house, Fallon starts casually making up horror stories about the house to drive potential buyers away, but then she spies the owner being very friendly with … a family. Turns out she will only sell to a family, so now Fallon comes up with one of her outlandish plans, again without consulting Liam, to introduce her husband and children … that she doesn’t have … to the owner. Liam suggests writing a letter explaining how much the house means to her, and she actually does … and then embellishes how much it would mean to her family.
Fallon rents some children from a friend and forces Liam to play along and everything is going as well as can be expected. While the owner is off making some tea, Liam learns that Fallon has her future with him already planned, in this house, and with their own children. Liam … does not want children because of his own screwed up family and is angry that Fallon has never talked to him about this. The owner returns so they switch their conversation to wanting or not wanting … trees. But the lady is suspicious and then the kids basically blow the whole thing by exposing the ruse and Fallon is kicked out. Thankfully she and Liam do have that conversation and agree that nothing is set in stone as far as kids, and that Fallon will wait to look for her next house and she’ll include Liam. So this was basically a waste of time storyline.
Kirby is crushing hard on Adam and sends him a Secret Admirer invite to the La Mirage Valentine’s Day party. Except Adam thinks it’s from his former ‘nurse’, assuming she really did have feelings for him and wanted to apologize for her role in Cristal’s scheme. Yeah, no. But poor Kirby is so embarrassed that she won’t tell him it was she who sent the invite. Sam, who is dodging text messages from Fletcher, lets slip to Adam that it was Kirby and then Adam blows up at her for making him look like a fool. Umm, you did that to yourself, buddy. And just as I was getting to like Adam. This was another case of the writers regressing a character. Kirby did go to the loft to apologize, and he apologized, and the two ended up in a snog session.
Speaking of snog sessions, Dominique is back in town and for some reason she has her sights set on Michael Culhane. She gets him drunk at Monica’s club, pretends to be drunk herself, and since he’s feeling like Vanessa has dumped his ass, he’s an easy target for some kind of blackmail. Yes, Dominique films their sexual escapades. But to what end? When Vanessa suddenly shows up unannounced, Jeff is surprised, and Dominique is also surprised when he tells her. She assures him that what they did will be their secret. But then she calls Vanessa asking if she got to Atlanta safely and the tone of her call made it seem she was fully aware Vanessa was due back. So what’s her game? Sure, she wants to split them up but why risk her own relationship with her daughter?
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For no reason at all, Cristal was in Mexico visiting her family … although we never saw any of them (no budget to bring back the actor so she just set up the assassination plan off screen?). I assumed we’d see her brother whom she had contacted to kill Alexis. Nope, she’s just lounging on a patio somewhere all alone, suggesting that Blake needs to bury the hatchet with Fallon once he learns Jeff and Alexis are trying to buy Carrington Atlantic. But instead of calling Fallon, he reaches out to Dominique who is willing to help him but she wants more than cash.
Dom helps Blake get into Jeff’s house unaware that there is a silent alarm on Jeff’s office door. Security arrives but Dom tells him she went in to get some champagne and threatens to tell Jeff it was the guard who was in the office if he doesn’t turn a blind eye to her. After she tosses her champers on him to prove his ‘guilt’, he leaves. Blake doesn’t find the information about the bid for CA, but he does find a medical report and right at that moment Anders calls him to alert Blake to Jeff and Alexis’ visit to a pharmaceutical company.
Blake puts all the pieces together, and knowing that he’s not going to be able to outbid Jeff for CA without some insider information, he comes up with a new plan … buy the pharmaceutical company Jeff was going to buy that is working on a cure for his neurological disorder. Oh, and Blake has pulled all funding for that research. Blake invites Jeff and Alexis to dinner to reveal his plot and makes an offer — CA for the other company. Jeff is not willing to make a deal saying he can buy another pharmaceutical company. Blake is willing to wait him out because he knows Jeff’s symptoms are getting worse and this one company is the only one close to finding a cure (all the others are five to ten years away). Thus, the ‘Battle Lines’ of the episode title are drawn.
And Cristal returns home at the end of the episode followed by Dominique. Her payment for helping Blake rummage through Jeff’s office is a room at the manor. After all, she is a Carrington. Making this and the brewing war between Jeff and Blake the only interesting parts of the episode. And now we have a week off for no good reason except filling the time slot with repeats of Whose Line Is It Anyway?. A very odd choice in the middle of February sweeps.
What did you think of this episode? Tell us in the comments section below!
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