Universal Pictures
In 2012, Seth MacFarlane did something that really surprised me. He wrote, directed and starred in a film that unexpectedly had a lot of heart. I didn’t anticipate loving the characters in Ted as much as I did. Who knew the story of a boy whose teddy bear magically came to life just because he wished it so could have such a profound effect? That’s not to say it wasn’t filled with the crass sense of humor synonymous with MacFarlane’s long-running TV show The Family Guy. That’s largely why I avoided watching the film until now when preparing to review its sequel.
But Ted made me feel things that I didn’t know were even possible in MacFarlane’s range. It had a certain energy about it that made it inexplicably fun and made me yearn for other fantasy films from my youth such as Big, in which a young boy makes a magical wish to be bigger and unexpectedly finds his wish has been granted when he wakes up the next morning in the body of an adult. I don’t know if it was the ‘80s context of the story that made me think this, the unique subject material involved, or a combination of both. But Ted somehow felt special and made MacFarlane transcend slightly in my opinion of him and his talent. I found myself caring about the relationship (or “bromance”) between John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg, who just seems to get handsomer with age) and his teddy bear (voiced by MacFarlane). I wasn’t bothered by the fact that they were seemingly unambitious stoners who probably wouldn’t amount to much of anything. Some of the best characters in cinematic history have had a similar slant – Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Randall “Pink” Floyd and David Wooderson from Dazed and Confused are among my all-time favorite stoners, not to mention the incomparable Cheech & Chong.
When it comes to a sequel such as Ted 2, you have certain expectations as a movie-goer. If you’re like me, you’ll go in feeling a bit skeptical of its plot and whether or not MacFarlane will have the ability to make you care about the two main characters’ “bromance” for another round of a 15-year-old boy’s sense of humor involving penises, porn, pot paraphernalia and the like. Can comedic lightning really strike twice for the “Thunder Buddies”? You can also expect that the surprise celebrity cameos are going to be bigger and even more outlandish than the Flash Gordon subplot of the first film. Ted 2 does not disappoint on either of these points.
Ted 2 picks up not long after the first film and not much has changed really except for the fact that John has gotten a divorce from Lori (Mila Kunis’ character in the first film – she apparently wanted him to change too much) and Ted has married Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth), the trashy supermarket checkout love of his life. When Ted and Tami-Lynn find the honeymoon phase has worn off, they misguidedly decide that having a baby is really what their marriage needs to hold it together. But, um, being a magical teddy bear and all, Ted is lacking in the penis department. The couple decides to try to go the artificial insemination route, first asking Flash Gordon himself (Sam Jones) for a sperm donation before ultimately settling for Johnny’s sperm. But alas, it was not meant to be. Tami-Lynn has ruined her fertility chances because of all the drugs she used to do before she met Ted. They then decide to try to go the adoption route, only to discover the state of Massachusetts does not recognize Ted as a person, but rather as property, that doesn’t have any constitutional rights and therefore is incapable of having a marriage or an adoption recognized by the government. That’s why the tagline is “Legalize Ted.” Get it?
The film then takes on a rather heavy-handed topic for a comedy – that of civil rights (repeatedly bringing up the fact that African Americans were once unjustly viewed as property in this country) and just what it is that defines a person as a person anyway. Ultimately, it’s decided that to be human means one is capable of conscious thought and self-awareness, as well as possessing the ability to experience a broad spectrum of complex emotions including love, i.e. Ted is capable of unconditionally loving John and Tami-Lynn – and vice versa.
The laughs come naturally. tweet
The laughs come naturally (at times, but expect to find some of the jokes falling more than a little flat) and from the most unexpected of places. I found myself giggling about Liam Neeson attempting to buy a box of Trix at the grocery store but being overly concerned that something bad was going to happen to him because he wasn’t a kid and Trix are clearly for kids, as the advertising so blatantly points out. I found myself feeling downright gleeful to see Patrick Warburton reprise his beloved role as The Tick in full costume for a comic con that he attended solely for the purpose of nerd-bashing in the arrogant, cocky way that only Warburton can get away with. His partner who joins him at the comic con is none other than Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Michael Dorn, who also reprises his beloved television role as Lt. Worf in full costume at the con.
Other cameos include Tom Brady, SNL cast members Taran Killam, Bobby Moynihan and Kate McKinnon, Jimmy Kimmel and Jay Leno. Morgan Freeman, Amanda Seyfried and John Slattery join the cast as lawyers either representing or fighting against Ted’s case in the court of law. Sadly, Joel McHale is not back. However, Giovanni Ribisi does reprise his role as Donny, the pathetic, creepy man determined to steal Ted away from John. This time around, Donny wants to slice open Ted to see what makes him magical in a misguided attempt at recreating those magical properties and mass-producing them at Hasbro. Frankly, it was good to see Ribisi but I could have done without his subplot, as it felt a bit tired.
While it’s not as charming as its predecessor, Ted 2 does have its moments. What I enjoyed most were the unexpected ‘80s and ‘90s homages, to which, I will say MacFarlane is a master at his goofy craft. They successfully recreate the legendary library ledge dance scene from The Breakfast Club and the awe of entering Jurassic Park for the first time (except in Ted 2, it’s a field of a rare strand of marijuana that they’re in awe of, murmuring “It’s true … they do move in herds.”) I also liked the campfire scene in which Seyfried sings the MacFarlane-penned song “Mean Ol’ Moon” in a moment that’s reminiscent of Blazing Saddles or perhaps even Three Amigos. However, the best scene was the brilliant nod to Planes, Trains & Automobiles and the very sorely missed John Candy, but you’ll have to see it for yourself. Let’s just say I loved seeing Ted do the mess around.
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