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As Riverdale draws ever closer to its finale, fans wondered if there would be another musical episode and what famous musical would it borrow from? We got that answer this week with the series’ final musical episode but with a twist … it featured all original songs (maybe by Blake Neely and Sherri Chung as they seem to be the only people who got a ‘Music by’ credit). Most of the songs were appropriately corny, mainly because the premise of the episode is that Kevin and Clay are writing an original musical for the school to produce in the Spring instead of doing Oklahoma! for the billionth time. Side note: This season takes place in 1955, Oklahoma! made its Broadway debut in 1943 and closed in 1948, so the show probably wasn’t even available to local theatres and schools until at least 1950 so would the school have actually produced the show for five years in a row?
Anywho, the episode opens on a very confusing note as Archie and friends begin their first day of senior year, singing their way through the morning and ending with a rousing group choreo bit on the steps of the school. It made you wonder if this episode was aired out of order for some reason but the reveal comes that this is the opening number to Kevin and Clay’s musical, but it even confuses Archie who points out that they’re juniors. And then everyone has something to say about the song, nitpicking about their roles, with Jughead and Reggie quickly bowing out, Jughead sniping that there is no lower art form than American musical comedy. Well! Reggie feels he’s got the looks for acting but isn’t into the singing so their parts will have to be rewritten. While Kevin assures everyone else that the show is about them, he then points out that the show’s focal point is Archie, and Cheryl and Toni quickly tell him that they are not there to be glorified showgirls, especially after the silly number which pits them, Betty and Veronica against each other for Archie’s affections, but just as ‘frenemies’, a term Kevin excitedly tells them he just made up. Betty and Veronica explain that they are much more than girls swooning for a boy, and Cheryl and Toni challenge Kevin to write them a song about their authentic selves, and perhaps include himself and Clay in there as well. Kevin says they will take the suggestions under advisement. Vee has her own ideas and is going to ring up Hollywood pal Cole Porter to write a tune for her and Betty that feels a bit more authentic.
The boys, meanwhile, write a new ‘I Want’ song for Archie, workshopping it with the star and his understudy Julian Blossom (and Julian wants to know why he’s an understudy since he’s the best singer in school … he’s not kidding because Nicholas Barasch has appeared on Broadway and in the national tour of Hadestown in the lead role of Orpheus. But as Archie and Julian duet on the song — which totally distracts Archie because why is he singing with his understudy (although it seems those glances in the shower at each other hinted there was more than singing as a distraction … and why exactly were the boys doing a duet in the locker room shower)? And why is the song about making a choice, Betty or Veronica, basketball or poetry? In real life Archie doesn’t know what he wants, so how can he tell Kevin and Clay to write a song where he makes a choice? Poor Archie can’t even decide on soup or salad at Pop’s, and Jughead tells him he’s suffering from an ‘existential crisis’, unable to decide what he wants out of life. That lights a bulb over Archie’s head and he finally does make a decision — just a grilled cheese sandwich. And he drops out of the musical for his own mental health (Clay, at least, wishes him well in his journey while Kevin takes it as another betrayal), and he puts his foot down with Uncle Frank that he’s quitting the basketball team. Frank is not happy that Archie is going to pursue the life of a beatnik poet in the middle of the season … but at least he didn’t call him another name, which he seemed to come close to doing the last time Archie said he wanted to work on his poetry.
Kevin surprises Cheryl and Toni with a new song that he’s written for the four of them to express their authentic selves, and it really is a beautiful song about forbidden love. The number wins over the girls who are now excited to be in the show — wait a minute, did they forget that just last week they decided to put on an act about Toni dating Clay, and Cheryl dating Kevin? — and then Kevin tells them there’s no way that song will be in the show because a town like Riverdale just isn’t ready for that. He wrote the song for them to sing privately, but that was the last straw with the girls also pulling out of the show. Meanwhile, Vee and Bee get their song from Cole and perform it for Kevin and Clay and it’s electric, so much so that both girls felt the universe move while performing it. Afterwards in the library, the both discuss how it made them feel and then Veronica admits to Betty that she kissed Archie. Betty is a little stunned and asks if she likes Archie. Vee says she does … but she likes Betty more. Betty feels the same and they decide that maybe it’s time to stop pursuing Archie and instead pursue their ‘friendship’. At that moment Archie interrupts and tells them that while he’s kissed both of them, he’s going to take some time to work on himself so he’s not going to be kissing anyone right now. Probably. Problem solved.
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The biggest problem of the episode however, and most likely the reason why Kevin is so intent on making this musical work, is because his family is falling apart. His dad is sleeping on a cot at the police station, and over a dinner of takeout Kevin asks him to just come by the house one night for dinner. What harm can that do? Tom tries to tell him it’s a bit more complicated, ‘adult stuff’, and that just angers Kevin more. But with what’s going on at home and all of the defections from the musical, Clay praises Kevin for how gracefully he’s handling the situation. Kevin says that’s because he has Clay. The boys end up spending the night together in Kevin’s bed, and are almost caught by Kevin’s mom — why hello, Mrs. Keller! — but Clay jumps out the window before she walks in. She tells Kevin that the family is going to get together for dinner, at Pop’s, because that would be the best thing for all of them. Seems like Pop’s is going to be used as a place where no one — ahem, Kevin — will cause a scene. That plan goes terribly awry when the Kellers announce that the papers are signed and they are getting a divorce. Neither of them will explain to Kevin why they are divorcing but there is certainly more to the story, perhaps on Tom’s part, that will hopefully be explored before the season ends. Could Tom himself be gay?
To add insult to injury, after being very pleased with a presentation of one of the songs from the musical, Principal Featherhead brings Kevin into his office to tell him … they aren’t going to produce his musical in the Spring. It’s too risky to assume that the people of Riverdale will jump at the chance to see something called Archie the Musical, and with the school’s entire theatre budget riding on ticket sales, the safest route to take is to produce, you guessed it, Oklahoma! Featherhead just knowns that the show will sell out, all three nights! Kevin marches back into the rehearsal room and lashes out at everyone, basically blaming them with all their notes, all the nitpicking, all the defections as the reason that the show is not going on. He knocks a chair over as he storms out of the room and Clay tells everyone why Kevin is really upset. They were going to tell everyone after the workshop but Clay didn’t want to leave everyone feeling as if this was all their fault so he told them about the Kellers’ divorce, and that’s why he’s been pouring his heart and soul into the show (Kevin even told his dad before the divorce news that his dream was that they would all be together on his opening night). The news left everyone speechless.
Back at his house, Kevin’s mom did her best to console him over the show, and Kevin had to ask if the divorce was his fault since it seemed like all of their problems started when he broke up with Betty. Mom assured him that their problems were a long time brewing and have nothing to do with him or who he is, he has nothing to feel guilty about, or ashamed of, he’s her son and she loves him unconditionally. That’s a very progressive mom for 1955. Will someone get me a tissue, please? Kevin retreats back to the rehearsal room where Archie overhears him playing a song on the piano. Archie apologizes again for bugging out on him and then thanks him for making him take a long, hard look at himself, forcing him to make some decisions he needed to make. Kevin is glad it worked out for him but it still stings that the show is not going to be produced. Archie is broken up about it because he was looking forward to seeing how the whole shebang turned out. He asks Kevin if the song he heard was for the show, but Kevin said it was just something he stayed up all night writing after his talk with his mom. Archie asks him to keep playing it for him and he does, a bit reluctantly at first. He starts singing about an empty stage and being without someone for the first time (I’m assuming this is about his father), and Archie joins him as the song becomes about true friendship. Betty walks in and joins, Archie starts playing a guitar, Veronica then joins next, followed by Cheryl and Toni, Clay (who kisses Kevin), then Fangs and Midge, Jughead and Ethel, Reggie, Julian, Dilton, all harmonizing beautifully, culminating in a big group hug with Kevin at the center (and Bee and Vee holding hands, and a flashback to Kevin hugging his dad as he leaves the house for the last time). This is their song.
I need that whole box of tissues now.
Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 9:00 PM.
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