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So we pick up almost right where we left off, the aftermath of the boxing match between Archie and Randy Ronson that left the juiced up Ronson KO’d, and just as we suspected, he’s down for the count … for eternity. Which leads to another trumped up murder charge for Archie courtesy of Nico, who juiced up Randy to begin with. Unfortunately, Mad Dog was given drugs by Nico, and Archie stashed them away at the gym and the pair tried to dispose of them before the cops … oops, they all got there at the same time. And then all was forgotten, it seemed, as Archie took his prize money from Nico and gave it to Randy’s family, along with donations from a benefit concert by Josie at La Bonne Nuit. I’m not really sure if Archie is still accused or if the toxicology results let him off the hook — he was caught red-handed with the drugs — but Nico is now trying to promote Archie as the Riverdale Reaper … which is giving Archie a reason not to box anymore. It seemed like a rather pointless plotline. Well, it did give us one final scene with Luke Perry doling out some fatherly advice to Archie. Farewell Fred Andrews.
Another seemingly pointless plotline involved Betty’s father. She alerted him that Alice was about to marry Edgar and that Edgar was going to adopt Polly’s twins … wait what? … but Hal said that could not happen and he suggested Betty bring this to the attention of Auntie Penelope because she’d never let a child of Blossom blood be raised by an outsider. (And she only managed to leave with Dagwood, whom she’s calling Jason Jr now.) In exchange for all the help Hal has given Betty, he has a request: ask Hiram to move Hal to the new prison to a cell with a view of the Sweetwater River. Hiram says he’ll think about it, and the next thing you know there’s allegedly an off-screen accident involving the bus transporting the prisoners and … no one survived. RIP Hal Cooper?
The two biggest storylines belonged to the Jones family and to Betty. So I speculated last week that the whole ‘kidnapping’ of Jellybean was some kind of set-up but turns out it wasn’t. Instead, Kurtz (Gladys’ ‘cook’) forced FP, Jughead and Gladys to play a game of G&G to ‘save the princess’. The first task was to rob Pop’s, which ended with FP getting shot (Pop is packing heat). The second task forced Gladys to confront the ‘Cyclops’. Surprise, Penny Peabody isn’t dead, she’s just missing an eye. Gladys ended up with a broken arm and a punctured kidney, but she still defeated Penny — Jughead stopped her before the administered a kill shot — and that left Jughead to complete the task: choose the container that held the princess. Of course when you’re dealing with the Gargoyle King, you can’t trust that anything will play out by the rules and Jughead discovered Jellybean was in neither container. But he was forced into one and locked in so she could be released. Managing to break himself out, he found Kurtz dead and the Gargoyle King looming over him, but he took off and got home to find Jellybean in one piece, apparently not even aware that she had been kidnapped. She was just playing the game with her friend. But while Gladys was in the hospital Jughead tried to convince her to stay and admit to her crimes. She’d already been forced to admit to FP that she was the new distributor of Fizzle Rocks in Riverdale when the game started, but she didn’t think hanging around would do any of them any good, so she said her goodbyes, left JB with FP, and exited Riverdale. Farewell Gladys Jones. Come around again sometime to spice the place up.
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Betty is discovering her quest against The Farm is falling apart quickly. Doing some digging, she found out what was probably the episode’s biggest bombshell — Evelyn Evernever is not a teenager, she’s 26 years old! And she’s not Edgar’s daughter, she’s his … WIFE! She’s been bouncing around from high school to high school for a decade recruiting teens for The Farm while Edgar goes after the adults. Armed with this info, she gets Toni to help her break in and take Juniper but when it seems they are about to get caught, Toni leads Betty into a ‘janitor’s closet’ which is not what it seems. Inside, Betty finds a room with Edgar, Evelyn, Alice, Polly, Kevin, Principal Weatherbee and more chanting for Betty to join them. She tells Alice about Edgar and Evelyn and Alice responds that there are no secrets on The Farm. Betty’s also disappointed to learn that Toni has been turned as well, and seems to be ready to give in but she takes off with a horde chasing her. Betty gets away but before she took off, she had a memory that finally called back to the season premiere — the floating babies! Okay, there was still no resolution to that but at least someone finally thought it was important enough to bring up again, eightteen episodes later.
Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 8:00 PM.
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