Twentieth Century Fox
Hitman: Agent 47 is the second film based on the Hitman video game franchise. The first film simply titled Hitman was released in 2007 and starred Timothy Olyphant. This newest iteration of the character is played by Rupert Friend who is most likely recognized from his work on the critically acclaimed Showtime series Homeland. Being that I have never seen the first Hitman film, I couldn’t say one way or another whether this is supposed to be a true sequel or just a reboot, but it didn’t appear to have any connections or callbacks to the first film aside from the same agent “47” being the main focus.
Agent 47 tells the story of a young woman named Katia (Hannah Ware) who gets mixed up in the world of the Agents, a genetically engineered group of super assassins, and The Syndicate, a super secret organization that wants to create an army of “agent” type assassins for profit; caught between Agent 47, the search for her father, and the mysterious John Smith (Zachary Quinto).
This movie is, in a word, ridiculous. Its ridiculousness is both its high point and its low point. From minute one the movie is brimming with crazy over-the-top action and laughable dialogue. The crazy action part is actually kind of fun. I couldn’t help but think of the 2002 film Equilibrium, the Christian Bale Matrix wannabe featured a “gun-fu” action style that is very similar to this film’s fighting style. Lots of people firing dual pistols at the same time in multiple directions with pinpoint accuracy while spinning around in a dance like style. It’s silly and unbelievable but most ten-year-olds would likely think it’s totally awesome! There are also some really cool car chases, and lots of explosions. Add that up with all the crazy hand-to-hand fights and big shoot-outs and you’ve got a recipe for a silly but decent action movie.
Unfortunately the film also has terrible dialogue and an incoherent mess it’s trying to pass off as a plot, and let me tell you, whoa boy! The dialogue on its own would be cringe-worthy. You could chalk it up to the actors not delivering their A-game if it wasn’t for the fact that the plot is a complete and utter disaster. Characters develop abilities and forget them whenever it serves the plot. Other times the script takes such incredible leaps in logic it almost feels like the writers are daring us to laugh at them. One character figures out where people are going literally by seeing a map in their room and sensing where they touched it last. To add to that, the acting “talent” is severely lacking. Rupert Friend switches from a monotone delivery that seems to be aping that of the videogame, to pretty much his normal speaking voice without rhyme or reason, and Hannah Ware’s “Katia” switches from an English to American accent whenever she gets upset. Poor Zachary Quinto though. Whether he was in it for a quick buck or just looking for a paid vacation, he seems out of place in this straight-to-video feature that snuck its way into theaters. He definitely had some fun chewing the scenery but he deserves better than this.
On a more positive note the film looks very pretty. They travel to multiple countries and get some gorgeous aerial shots of some beautiful international locations. The sets are also very stylish and well done, everything look-wise feels very real and lived in. If only that same level of detail went into so many other areas of the film. There are glaringly bad edits that feel like someone’s college project. Also, in several action scenes you can clearly see stuntmen’s faces. The list of sloppy filmmaking goes on and on. One scene that takes place in a Singapore street features almost nothing but white extras. If that wasn’t bad enough, in one shot of a big action set piece it looks like the background extras forgot to act or maybe weren’t cued, they just stand there staring, looking bored while a gunfight is going on, then in the next cut everyone is already running in panic. Then there’s the product placement, I don’t know how much Audi paid them but it must have covered whatever amount they needed to bribe Zachary Quinto. Almost every main character in this movie drives an Audi. Not only that, there’s a scene where agent 47 is tracking cars and the tablet display actually labels them as Audi. Really, movie?! Why would a spy gadget track cars by labeling them with the car’s make? Especially when all three cars being tracked at once are all Audi.
The real hidden treat in Hitman: Agent 47 is that it’s a hysterical movie to watch, not intentionally mind you, but funny all the same. We’re talking about a movie whose title character is most well known for a shiny bald head and a bar code, and they don’t even have him shaved bald in the movie! My guess is they realized Rupert’s head is kind of on the smaller size and a weird shape so he has a five o’clock shadow on his head all the time, well … almost all the time. The film ends with a set up for future films. Not just that but there’s even a mid-credits scene teasing the future installments. God knows how they think a franchise is coming out of this but hey, the Resident Evil series is about to finish up so there’s room for another garbage videogame franchise to go on way too long. Whatever the future for the franchise, this installment seems destined to become a staple of bad movie marathons.
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