Movie Review :: LMN’s Deadly Desire

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LMN’s ‘Stranger Danger’ concludes with Deadly Desire — not to be confused with the 1991 film of the same name which many of the TV listings thought it was — and the network has saved the best for last!

JK. This is the most inept demonstration of amateur filmmaking a major cable network has ever broadcast. I hope they didn’t pay more than the film’s paltry budget to the rights to air this dross.

So what is the ‘story’ of Deadly Desire? That’s a great question, and if anyone knows feel free to put your guesses in the comments section below. Here’s our impression of what ‘writers’ (it took TWO people to ‘write’ this?!?) Michael DeVorzon and Priya Lorenz (who also ‘acts’ in the movie as a detective) were going for:

Unhappily married couple Brittney and James — well, they are happily in love but James always has an excuse for not engaging in some sexytime with his wife (though no reason is given other than he has an early morning and needs to sleep) — have their friend Ben over for dinner one night and he brings his new girlfriend Tanya. Now, we previously saw James and Ben lifting weights together, so it might make one wonder if James’ lack of interest in his wife is because he’s more into Ben. But that never pans out, although when the two men step outside for a few moments it’s hard not to think there is something going on. Anyway, after a little too much wine and Tanya becoming a little too familiar with these people she’s just met … she texts Brittney the next day and says she’s looking forward to game night the next night. Brittney never gave Tanya her number and she had no idea there was a game night scheduled, but James later confirmed he gave her the number and planned the game night. Game night does not go well as Tanya is terrible at charades and a wine-filled Ben isn’t shy about letting her know that she’s terrible at charades. After the night ends awkwardly, Tanya and Ben go back to her place, and while she seems to be getting into a romantic mood with him … she kills him. Then she invites Brittney over for a girls night at her place.

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Brittany should have said, ‘I have to wash my hair that night,’ but she agrees to go … and things get weird. Tanya is (allegedly) a photographer and after more wine she asks Brittany to pose for a few Polaroids. Brittany is a no at first but Tanya tells her how beautiful she is and she finally agrees. Then Tanya insists she take off her sweater which she reluctantly does but she begins to feel comfortable. Until … Tanya tries to lean in for a kiss and that is just a bridge too far for Brittany, who gathers her things — except the bracelet Tanya asked her to take off — and runs home. This lack of judgment causes all kinds of chaos in Brittany’s life. When Tanya shows up at the hospital where Brittany is a nurse to return the bracelet, she asks Brittany for a do over and now Brittany gives her an excuse to not have another girls night and Tanya is not happy. Next thing you know, James is receiving an envelope full of those Polaroids (she only took three but seems to have dozens now) which enrages him, accusing Brittany of having an affair with Tanya, and Tanya also posts the photos on social media, which are discovered by the hospital administration, and Dr. Wilson (a slumming Eric Roberts) has to give Brittany the news that the hospital Board is not happy about how this looks.

A furious James marches himself over to Tanya’s house — not sure how he knew the address, and no one ever asks where Ben is (although someone finally says that they think he went out of town on business) — and confronts her, demanding she take the pictures off of social media but all he gets for his trouble is a cracked skull that lands him in the hospital in an induced coma. After bashing in James’ brain, Tanya slammed her forehead into the edge of her bathroom sink to make it look like he assaulted her, screaming, ‘He hit me!’ to no one. So that also puts her in the hospital as well. (We’re left to assume Tanya called the police to report the staged assault.) While checking in on her husband, Dr. Wilson informs Brittany that she is suspended without pay until the Board can investigate the matter because those pictures are making the hospital look bad. This means Brittany will not be able to attend to sweet, old Mrs. Weller, who is suffering from dementia and sometimes thinks Brittany is her late twin sister. After Brittany was suspended, her bestie Sheila had attended to Tanya and asks Brittany to meet her for a drink one night, and she assures Brittany that she believes Tanya assaulted James and that there is something off about her. Brittany had done some digging by breaking into Tanya’s house and discovering more photos of her, including many that were taken from outside her bedroom window before she ever met Tanya, and had also contacted a photographer whose card was also at Tanya’s residence. As we saw at the top of the movie, Tanya had gone to said photographer, Denny, to do some modeling but after he got a little too touchy-feelie for her she whacked him in the head with a battery, so he warned Brittany to steer clear of the nutcase. After assuring Brittany that she would do more digging through Tanya’s hospital records, Sheila leaves in an Uber … driven by Tanya, who somehow slipped out of the hospital and shows absolutely zero signs of a head injury. No wound, no bruising, no stitches. It’s a miracle! In fact, Sheila told Tanya she was going to be released that night but Tanya insisted that she needed to stay at least one more night (to give herself an alibi). When Sheila realizes her driver missed a turn, the car stops and she realizes the driver is Tanya, who had been cleverly disguised with a hospital mask (and how she knew where Sheila would be that night is also left to our imaginations). Tanya climbs into the backseat and Sheila literally allows Tanya to strangle her with the seatbelt, and it isn’t long before the police find her body.

So that prompts a detective to show up at Brittany’s door accusing her of causing all the mayhem, murdering her best friend, and also casts suspicions on Ben’s whereabouts. Brittany tries to explain that Tanya has been stalking her and tells her about seeing the photos at Tanya’s house — for which she nearly catches a breaking and entering charge — but the detective doesn’t seem to believe her. So she has to take things into her own hands by looking at the hospital files herself. Technically Brittany isn’t supposed to be at the hospital but they can’t actually forbid her from visiting her husband — who is still in a coma — and when she has the chance she looks through the files and discovers the shocking truth that somehow relates back to Mrs. Weller — Tanya had a twin who died at that hospital under the care of Dr. Wilson and Brittany. At some point, Tanya calls Brittany and informs her that she better be careful because she just might have to pay a visit to Mrs. Weller, and when Brittany races back to the hospital the elderly woman is gone. Dr. Wilson assures her that her heart gave out because she was old but we never know for sure if Tanya had anything to do with it. Brittany is distraught and goes home, Tanya checks herself out of the hospital and pays Dr. Wilson a visit in his office — and for some reason he seems to know that Tanya is behind everything and tells her to leave Brittany alone, which ends with her smacking him in the head with a crystal skull bookend (though she apparently doesn’t kill him as he is mentioned again later though not seen), and heads over to confront Brittany at her house. It is there that Tanya reveals she’s been planning to kill Brittany because she let her twin die, and Brittany allows Tanya to place a wire around her neck to begin strangling her. She finally elbows Tanya in the stomach but can’t get away and she allows Tanya to begin strangling her again, just in reach of another heavy object which Brittany is able to reach and smacks Tanya in the head, knocking her out. Whew.

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Some time later, Brittany brings James home from the hospital, the detective shows up to apologize for not believing her and to confirm Tanya will spend the rest of her life in prison (they found Ben’s body two blocks from the house), and James is actually ready to have some fun with his wife. So thanks, Tanya! But before they can make it to the bedroom, Brittany opens some mail that the detective handed her — ma’am, it’s a federal offense to take someone’s mail out of their mailbox — and finds one of the Polaroids with the eyes poked out. Does this mean … Deadly Desire 2 is coming?!?!

Man oh man oh man … was this movie awful. Everyone associated with it should be embarrassed. Eric Roberts apparently is, even though he’s one of the three cast members to get their names in the opening credits. Cassidy Espinola gives a moderately decent performance as the woman who is caught up in a situation for which she has to prove is not of her own doing. She effectively runs through all the emotions and gives a better performance than the movie deserves. Megha Wescombe is also pretty good as Sheila. It’s shocking how bad Jackie Moore is as she is one of the more seasoned actors in this movie. He face is almost always a blank, barely registering any emotions, and she speaks in a monotone voice throughout the movie. It really is a grating performance. Tyler Matthew Burk is okay as James, but he gets to spend most of his time in a coma, which he does, well, not great, his eyelids fluttering and what looks like a swallow at one point during a close-up. (People have reported dreams while in medically induced comas, but dream cycles like REM sleep are uncommon.) August Erhart just plays Ben like a complete asshole. Eric Roberts over-plays his role as more of a kindly grandfather than a medical professional, and Becky Brown is a stereotype of an old lady with a failing memory. Frankie Dell as Denny the Photographer plays the character like a total sleaze who deserved what he got, and Priya Lorenz plays yet another Lifetime/LMN detective who is more belligerent than helpful. This seems to be a pattern with the networks — all of the lead female characters are victimized, and all of the police are dicks. They should have all followed Roberts’ lead and not included this movie on their IMDb credits.

As for the production, well, my cat could have written a better script than this. The whole twin angle is not introduced until the end, so there is no rhyme or reason for Tanya’s behavior other than she just comes off as a serial killer (and not a very good one at that). Why she killed Ben is unknown unless she just didn’t like how he berated her about Charades. Why she is trying to unravel Brittany’s life is unknown, but it all seems like its because Tanya was romantically rejected. It doesn’t even make sense when she tries to kill Dr. Wilson, and when Brittany finally puts together the twin story, it’s written and presented in such a way that it seems like Tanya is Mrs. Weller’s twin even though they are decades apart in age (unless the immobility of Tanya’s face is from all the plastic surgery she’s had to make herself look 40 years younger than her sister). It really is the most absurd storyline we’ve seen in an LMN movie.

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The direction and production is bottom of the barrel. Usually in these movies, you can tell they rented an Airbnb for use as someone’s house. For some reason, they used a set for Tanya’s house, and not a very stable one at that. When Tanya ‘hits’ James in the head (and she is clearly several inches away) he falls and hits the front door … and the entire wall moves! The exterior lighting is also … questionable, as is the brick wall outside the front door (obviously there so they didn’t have to also have some kind of outdoorsy backdrop visible). It is clearly the middle of the afternoon when James comes to visit, but the entryway is barely lit (so perhaps the roof of the house also covers the top of the wall, blocking all the light). Later when Brittany breaks in, it’s night so the lighting in the living room window is dimmer (the entryway is black), and when she goes into the bedroom, it’s the middle of the day (so the bedroom is in a different time zone?). But these continuity errors and shoddy set construction aren’t even the most egregious parts of the production. Early in the movie, we see Mrs. Weller covered with a very colorful blanket, obviously not hospital issue. When Brittany is visiting with Mrs. Weller before she passes away, a wide shot of the room shows no blanket and no flowers on the shelf next to the bed. But when Brittany sits down on the bed, the two shot of the actors shows the blanket and the flowers, and in a close-up of the two holding hands for a moment, the blanket is gone, only to be visible again in the next two-shot! How on earth could anyone have forgotten the old lady had that blanket on her bed?!?!

And then there is the matter of Tanya’s murders and attempted murders. It was ridiculous enough when Sheila just sat in the back seat and let Tanya pull the seatbelt around her throat and did nothing to fight back. She could have easily elbowed the woman in the face or the chest. But it was even crazier when Tanya just casually slipped the wire — and I guess we have to assume she just came armed with the wire because it came out of nowhere — over Brittany’s head and around her neck. Espinola just stood there. Did Director Jared Cohn tell her to not move? Because it wasn’t like a swift surprise action on Tanya’s part. She literally just stood next to Brittany and slowly slipped the wire over her head and around her neck. TWICE! One thing I have to applaud them for is not having a ‘schwing’ sound when Brittany pulls a knife out of the block to protect herself from Tanya. Otherwise it is mindboggling the level of ineptitude that went into the making of this movie, and even more shocking that LMN would even bother to acquire the rights and broadcast the thing. Did no one at the network bother to look at the movie before plunking down the money? Whoever at Lifetime paid to put this on television should be fired immediately. This is like the lowest level direct-to-video crap you might have seen in the 90s. This movie makes the network’s The Wrong… series of movies look like Citizen Kane by comparison.

So, yeah, Deadly Desire is a complete trainwreck of a movie with the shoddiest of production values (aside from Brittany’s house, which must be where all of the budget went for the rental), a former star who has seen better times, a convoluted story and acting that ranges from okay to amateurish. LMN might have done better to air the 1991 USA Network TV movie with the same title — and a name cast — because it couldn’t have been worse.

Deadly Desire has a run time of 1 hour 27 minutes, and is rated TV-14.