Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox
Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox …
What in the world are you thinking? Whose decision is this? Who resurrected this idea once again? Better question: Who, in their right mind, approved it? (Note: Whoever that person was was not in their right mind.)
*yeesh*
Time (and time … and time) and again, it’s been proven remakes simply do not cut the mustard. And yet Fox, in its infinite wisdom, wants to churn out a 40th anniversary version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
No. Just … no.
Need justification why this shouldn’t be done? Here are 10 relatively recent examples:
The Wolfman. The Lone Ranger. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory. Godzilla (The Ferris Bueller edition). Annie. Arthur. Conan The Barbarian. Planet Of The Apes. King Kong. (Either of them.) Poseidon.
And that’s barely scratching the surface.
What? Those aren’t remakes of campy, cult classics so they don’t count? Well, I beg to differ where Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (the cringe-worthy remake of the original Willie Wonka And The Chocolate Factory) is concerned.
All right. I’ll submit to your whim. Let’s take a cult classics and imagine if a remake could do justice …
How about The Wizard Of Oz? Would you want to see that? Hell no. I wouldn’t. The companion prequel was quite enough, thank you very much, and that was corny enough. But you’re right … it wasn’t a remake. I went off the beaten path there. Sorry. Just a warm up exercise.
How about Gone With The Wind. No. Can’t be done. No one would want to see that done.
Not a musical comedy, you say? You know what? You’re right.
All right, instead of wasting your time with beloved films, say Footloose or Fame or the like, let’s cut to the chase and throw the holy grail of cult classic comedies with music and dancing and let’s all cringe in unison. Whaddaya say?
Ready?
The Blues Brothers.
Yes, I went there. And I feel a bit sick to my stomach for doing so.
A sequel — such that it was — was committed but, collectively, I’m certain we can throw that baby out with the bath water and no one would have a problem with it.
Imagine it for a moment: The Blues Brothers, remade. tweet
Ponder that for a moment: The Blues Brothers, the remake. Boggles the mind, doesn’t it? In fact, you really can’t imagine it. It’s unfathomable. Remaking it would be criminal. Anathema. A horrible bane. The film is perfect in and of itself, even with all its flaws and foibles. You couldn’t remake it if you tried. The world would revolt. A deafening cry would rise throughout the land.
It’s the same with The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It simply can’t be done without crashing and burning in such cacophony and discord the makers will wonder why they ever disregarded common sense in the first place.
But the old saying goes: “You don’t learn from your successes, you learn from your mistakes.”
And boy, oh boy … this one’s going to be a doozy …
Share this post
Where is this coming from? It’s coming from the same place both of the previous attempts at a TV remake came from: from RHPS’s original producer, Lou Adler, and once again, Richard O’Brien, the CREATOR of the show, is being excluded from financial participation. Why a “visual update” that only changes the look and the choreography? Because if they made any changes to the characters, plot or music they’d have to pay O’Brien, who retains rights via the underlying stage play. Adler screwed O’Brien back in 1973 by not letting him read the contract he was signing, whisking it away with the ink still wet, and he’s screwing him today, with this flaccid TV remake. Here’s Richard, talking about it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L30_25KoJfg
This one rattles me about as much as when I heard there was a remake of Little Shop of Horrors planned. Just say no!
If Fox wants to HONOR the 40th anniversary, then do a documentary with the cast and fans who love the movie. Don’t besmirch that thing you want to honor by remaking it with an inferior imitation.
You forgot Carrie Underwood in a TV remake of Sound of Music. That was just plain sad.
BTW, some remakes have worked. An Affair to Remember (1957) used the chemistry of Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr (as well as improved cinematography) to infuse breathless romance into the screenplay previously produced as Love Affair (1939). But Love Affair (1994) is definitely another point for your side.
Why are so many remakes ( and reboots) anyway? There are lots of talented people out there with many original ideas, but the studios and the networks are content to recycle, revive and unnecessarily spin off because they are lazy and want to make a fast buck. And people are willing to watch it. I seem to recall a line or two from Seinfeld:
Dalrymple: Why do I want to watch it?
George: Because it’s on TV!
Dalrymple: ….not yet.
Heinous idea. Fox is stupid.