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Seriously? Seriously. SERIOUSLY!?
Where was this epic ‘cliffhanger so bad we’ll all be dying for the pick-up on January 23rd?’ Because right now the only thing that’s dying is hope that this didn’t just take a time warp back to the convoluted drama days of Seattle-Grace-Mercy-Death.
Let’s knock out the nonsense straight up. Maggie’s got the yips, we all fully expect her to go bury herself in booze (possibly grow a mountain man beard a la Derek) and live in the woods. Though she might be the first one to give proper notice rather than just storm off into the great wild yonder. And why did that poor patient’s heart look like legitimate chicken? (We all know they use chicken but that is the first time in 16 seasons I can ever recall a heart looking like straight up chicken … how was that not fixed in post?)
Bailey and Ben? THAT was tragic. Not terribly unexpected, however, and probably the prelude to a downward spiral with her OCD. But a geriatric pregnancy (basically anyone preggo at 35 and up) – and let’s face it – the ages and timelines on Grey’s have always been a little wonky … Bailey could be anywhere from early to mid-40’s … so while very disturbing and tragic, not unexpected. And there’s really no cliffhanger there. She lost the baby and that’s pretty finite.
Jackson has grown up surprisingly, especially when it comes to trying to handle his mom’s nonsense (which was especially funny when she nailed him for being flirty with Vic … though to be fair, her business or not as best she was aware – he and Maggie are still a thing.) Loved that line about ‘not enough therapy in the world to handle my relationship drama and yours.’ And Miss Fox needs to take a chill pill. She’s got her panties all up in a bunch over Richard’s potential infidelity … it’s getting old in a hurry.
Sort of like this PacNorth thing. Why are we interviewing even more doctors for PacNorth when everyone should be reconciling with Grey-Sloan now that Meredith and Bailey are all patched up? Because Webber and Owen on their own doing their thing … meh. Though can anybody blame Owen for not immediately proposing to Teddy? (Aside from the fact that Amelia is now apparently having his baby maybe?) He’s been married what – four times? Twice to Cristina and twice to Amelia? Or was it only once to Cristina? Point is … he has zero idea what he’s doing in the love department.
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(And where was Alex? Hope his mom’s okay! Will we get to meet Amber?) Curious to see how Alex is going to react when he comes home to find out that he and Jo have – what – fostered a baby? You don’t just pick up a child as a Safe Haven volunteer and BLAM instant baby. Unless she’s trying to relive the MerDer days and steal a baby … that wasn’t really much of a surprise either, from the moment she picked that little baby up – it was obvious that we were going to be taking him back to the loft.
Carina’s still around, apparently. And were Amelia and Owen sleeping together 24 weeks ago? I feel like maybe? But also wasn’t she not sleeping with Owen – so who else was she sleeping with other than Link? Very confused there. Of course that might be the only actual cliffhanger in this episode – WHO’S THE DADDY? (Obvi not Link …) Which just opens the doors for Teddy to run back to Koracick.
And would Krista PLEASE stop all this Cristina text nonsense. It’s not like we’re getting an in-person visit soon. Or ever. Sandra Oh has said multiple times she’s done with that. This isn’t AHS where actors who swore blind they were done just pop back up some years later. And really? THAT was her present? (Also not a cliffhanger or a shocker or a surprise.) But he’s not suddenly an awesome human just because he raised two teenagers and lost his wife to God knows what. (Gotta give Cristina props though, McWidow? Seriously, just fetch back Riggs.)
This is all, of course, gearing up for the switch to 9:00 PM. Because that means ‘sexier Grey’s‘. More on-call rooms and steamy elevator rides. With McCloverWidow, I guess. Way to go Meredith for being awesome, even in his prickly, bristly face.
Poor Schmidt, though Niko is super supportive. Like a good boyfriend. Hope they stay happy. And I feel like ordering food at Joe’s is a terrible idea. Even if it isn’t Joe’s anymore.
But then to sort of attempt to make up for the lackluster fall finale – they revived the true ‘Seattle-Grace-Mercy Death’ spirit – BAM drunk car (maybe driven by Gemma off the wagon?) SLAMS through Joe’s/Emerald City/Hospital Adjacent Bar – at a psychotically weird tipping angle because Joe’s is sort of underground. THAT should make for a thrilling season opener, except if we actually want to know what happens, we’re being hijacked and emotionally blackmailed into watching Station 19 in the two-hour crossover event. Catherine Fox had that part 100% right. ‘Station 19, is that a TV station?’ because who’s heard of it and who cares.
Hope we all don’t freeze over for the next two months, hanging comfortably in our predictable seats to see whether or not Owen’s Amelia’s baby daddy … which he pretty much has to be. And whether or not Teddy uses that as an excuse to get back together with Koracick, which she basically will.
Grey’s Anatomy returns Thursday, January 23 at a new (old) time – 9:00 PM on ABC.
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