HBO
We’re Here serves up another powerful episode in a very subtle way. If there’s one thing this series aims to do, it’s to show us all that people are people no matter who they love or how they choose to represent themselves. Often with those choices family dynamics are impacted, sometimes in very negative ways. Other times there is complete love and acceptance from parent to child and this week’s episode gives us three very different takes on, specifically, the mother and child relationship. The location for this episode is Temecula, California, an upscale yet conservative town — described as having a church on every other corner — in the middle of wine country. Interestingly, this was the first episode filmed for the season before the cast and crew returned to Spartanburg, so it’s obvious that a lot of safety protocols are in place early in production.
James
James is paired up with Bob the Drag Queen. James is a gay, trans man who is also on the spectrum, diagnosed with Aspergers. James has had a rough time growing up because he (James’ pronouns are he/him) was diagnosed later in his life, so being a student in school was a struggle. He was bullied by kids for representing himself differently, and bullied by teachers who just perceived him as ‘the bad kid’ when no one knew of his Aspergers. Also the issue of being misgendered and having his ‘dead name’ used constantly weighs heavily on James. This has made him a very insular person, with an almost symbiotic relationship with his very, very supportive mother. Bob can see that the two really depend on each other, and while James dreams one day of his own independence, with a very focused desire to get married, the bond with his mother is very strong. James is also a huge fan of cosplay and the anime character Dio Brando from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, and he wants to make his performance at the drag show a way to represent Dio … but Bob wants to steer James into making the performance about James with references to Dio because James is a real person.
Jake, Brad & Michelle
Jake and Brad are a gay couple in Temecula. Michelle is Jake’s mother, and she is some sort of religious influencer on social media. She also believes everything is fine and dandy in Temecula, and that there is no anti-gay bias in her conservative world. But, she is supportive of her son and his partner, even though she admits that inside she has questions and concerns, but outwardly she is always on her son’s side. For Jake, he just feels that Temecula is not at all welcoming to LGBTQ people. He wants to be able to walk down the street holding Brad’s hand, but knows they can’t. But Jake may also be putting too much pressure on himself so as to not damage his mother’s image in the community and on social media. Brad has had a terrible experience in the past at a job waiting tables where a customer stood up and called him the ‘F-word’ and the restaurant gave her a gift card while they ignored the pain that encounter inflicted on him. So they have a lot bottled up that needs to be released.
Andrei
Because of COVID, Andrei had to move back to Temecula from San Diego where he was attending college (this episode was filmed in December 2020). Andrei comes from a very traditional Filipino family, very conservative, not accepting at all of homosexuality. Andrei is also part of a cheer squad, and that also does not sit well with his mother who thinks cheerleading is for girls. So Andrei struggles with being his authentic self while forcing himself to be who his mother wants him to be, and it’s even harder because of her age and the virus she depends on him to do things for her like grocery shopping. Andrei just wants his mother to see him for who he is.
The Preparation
HBO
Bob may have the hardest job with James, not because James is hesitant about doing the show, but because James is so focused on the anime character. Bob needs to push James down a slightly different path so the performance becomes about James and not Dio, because James is the person the people of Temecula will see after the performance. But Bob does come up with a way to make the performance about James while also incorporating Dio, because that is a character that James so identifies with … even though he is a villain. Bob wants James to be the hero of this story, but does find a way to incorporate some of Dio’s iconic poses into the choreography. There is a cute moment when James and his mother are showing Bob some of James’ cosplay outfits, including a Dr. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band costume which James wants to get married in. His mother questions that decision, gently suggesting that they don’t know who the person will be that James marries or if they’d be into that. Bob kind of agrees. One step at a time.
Eureka has to break down some walls with Jake and Brad. Brad seems a little more open to the process than Jake, who does not really want to have a literal spotlight shone on him. The only challenge will be walking in heels. But Jake’s biggest issue is with his mother. She is supporting this process but she refuses to be a part of the performance. She won’t even say the word ‘drag’. She’s certainly not shy about putting herself out there, but because of that presence she has in the faith community she may be more concerned about protecting her own image. Eureka does sit and talk with her and she relates Jake’s coming out story. Her description of how Jake was so upset to tell her he’s gay is heart-wrenching, but even in the moment when she could see and feel his pain, she remained calm and supportive with him even when she was having a bit of a panic attack on the inside. Perhaps over the years, while she has been supportive Jake still sees her as just tolerating him and this is her chance to really let go of all of her doubts and concerns, her biggest fear being that she might ‘lose’ her son to the LGBTQ community (i.e. his ‘chosen family’).
Shangela hits it off with Andrei because Shangie was also in a cheer squad. But the issue of Andrei’s mother is, sadly, relatable to so many LGBTQ kids. Andrei’s coming out was a traumatic experience for him, describing how it was his father who consoled him while his mother was yelling at him, trying to explain that this is just who she is and how she was brought up in the Philippines. It’s hard to break someone’s belief system and his coming out has put a strain on their relationship (you can sense his frustration with her when he’s grocery shopping for her). Sadly, she is so steadfast in her beliefs that she does not even appear in the episode to speak with Shangela. But Andrei still holds out hope that she will come to see the show.
And that really impacts a moment when everyone meets for the first time before the show to just chat and relax. This is where Brad reveals his workplace story and Jake talks about all of his insecurities. Michelle is clearly hurting listening to her son and she assures him that she has nothing but love for him, even if she still has her own issues to work on. Could this mean she just might consider being in the show? Jake and Brad’s stories touch James so much that he loans them some pins of anime characters that he says are a couple, and he hopes this will give them the strength to get through the performance. But they have to give them back! Andrei tells his story to the group for the first time, and again, this clearly impacts Michelle who is kind of caught in the middle between James’ mom and Andrei’s. She sees how much James’ mom is there for him, but seeing Andrei’s pain reduces all of them to tears. But Michelle steps up and assures him that he has her support. During a moment alone she even tells us that as a mother, she always has room for another child. I hope that this experience has bonded them all and that Michelle can be a surrogate mother for Andrei. It was an interesting journey for Michelle because she actually, probably without even understanding in that moment, that she offered herself to be a member of Andrei’s chosen family.
The Show
HBO
James is first up and Bob and his team have truly decked him out like an anime character with the white hair, pointy ears and even … fangs. It’s a fun performance to ‘It’s My Life’ (which James initially described as sounding ‘like ass’), complete with puppets, and the assembled crowd eats it up. Next up is Jake and Brad. Michelle is not on stage but she finally did agree to get into drag to show her support and at the end of the number joined her boys on stage in a prop to represent her social media presence. The whole experience was very liberating for Jake, so hopefully now that he and Brad, and Michelle, have put themselves out there, they can all feel more comfortable in Temecula. Right before Andrei was to take the stage, he’s seen on the phone with his mother who has refused to attend the show. It’s a blow to him but he does not show any of that disappointment on stage. His number begins with Celine Dion’s ‘Out of Ashes’ and transforms to Ariana Grande’s ‘Break Free’ with a full on, energetic cheer performance. Let me tell you, Andrei could do drag full time, he’s that good. Hopefully at some point he can sit down with his mother and watch the show.
I really enjoyed this episode and how it put the mother’s in the forefront. As I said about last season’s finale, this episode should also be used as a teaching tool for parents unsure of how to deal with their own biases and concerns, and see their children simply for who they are and not who they love or how they represent themselves. Michelle seems to have picked up on that!
Side note: Upon doing some research behind the scenes, it was actually the concerns over COVID that kept Andrei’s mother from participating in the show, putting her health ahead of production and Andrei understood that. I just wish the episode had been a little more transparent about that.
What did you think of this episode? Tell us in the comments section below!
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