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Back in August, Fox released the first thirty minutes of their remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show to preview and it was not impressive. It took all of my will to sit down and watch the rest of the movie after the complete version was available to screen.
Remakes/reboots are a necessary evil for Hollywood. For studios, they’re necessary because doing a new version of a movie that already has name recognition is generally an easy way to make a few bucks … of course, that can and does backfire (Ghostbusters anyone?). For audiences, they’re usually just evil because if you know and love the film being remade, the new version will rarely match the original. There are reasons no one has remade The Wizard of Oz, Gone With the Wind and Citizen Kane, to name a few classics. Has any remake of King Kong come close to the charms of the original?
Some movies can’t be remade because they are firmly of their time. The Rocky Horror Picture Show is definitely a film of its time, the mid-1970s, but it’s also one of the most beloved, successful “cult” films of all time, playing almost continually for the last 40 years. Yes, home video releases and television broadcasts have taken away some of the mystique of the film, and it’s definitely something that should be experienced at a midnight screening with an audience (I lost my RHPS “virginity” with a small crowd in a hotel room at a sci-fi convention in 1979 to a bootleged, Beta videotape!). So, in Fox’s attempt to “honor” the film’s 40th anniversary … a year late … they really are in a no-win situation, at least not as far as the fans are concerned.
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Watching this remake as a fan, as someone who went to the theater every Friday or Saturday night (sometimes both) for years, amassing over 100 viewings (with additional video release viewings), it’s hard to separate any memories of the original and see this one with a fresh perspective. Perhaps RHPS “virgins” will find it a bit more enjoyable, but for the devoted Frankie Fans, this new version never lets us forget there is an original, superior version readily available to view (it’s not like it’s in black and white or anything, so why remake it?). Some feel it may introduce new viewers to the original, but they may just think the original is a big hunk of cheese after seeing this version.
I detailed some the film’s ills in the preview of the first half hour, and things don’t get much better after the rest of the cast makes their way into the film. Casting ranges from fine to atrocious, and directorial choices are questionable in many scenes. Probably the worst offender of the bunch is Annaleigh Ashford who gives the original’s sassy Columbia more of a bored, disaffected teen persona. And why she insists on sticking out her tongue all. the. time. is beyond reason. Even in her big moment of telling off Frank, she still seems bored by the whole thing.
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Staz Nair certainly has the body Rocky Horror should have — even if they did give him silly board shorts instead of the classic short-shorts — but I have to wonder if the guy is actually singing because his lip sync during the “Sword of Damocles” number seems to always be off. Ben Vereen plays Dr. Scott way, WAY over-the-top, and Christina Milian’s Magenta pretty much vanishes into the scenery. Reeve Carney does a pretty good Richard O’Brien impression as Riff Raff, and he seems to be the only cast member to actually get his character (it’s a shame about that cheap looking Party City wig though). He does bring a certain sinister feel to the character. Victoria Justice is also fine as Janet, giving her the innocence she needs, but Ryan McCartan varies wildly in his portrayal of Brad, doing fine with the innocence and assholism required, but then veering into a theatrical damsel-in-distress playing to the balcony after being seduced by Frankie. It was a ridiculous moment that director Kenny Ortega should have never allowed. Adam Lambert is also fine as Eddie, but why, oh why, does Ortega insist on showing his idiotic facial expression three times after Eddie’s big reveal later in the film? It’s just stupid and for Lambert to be comfortable with that and not taking the role of Frank-N-Furter is all kinds of puzzling.
And that brings us to Frank himself. Yes, HIMself. Dr. Frank-N-Furter is a man, baby. A man who enjoys wearing women’s clothing, which is why he sings the song “Sweet Transvestite.” So when Fox announced the casting of transgender actress Laverne Cox in the role, the reaction has been divided and contentious to say the least, with many fan sites and articles doing back flips to justify the casting. Here’s the honest truth: It was a stunt and it does not work, plain and simple. Nothing against the lovely and talented Ms. Cox, but casting a female (trans or not) in the role, putting her in women’s clothing, referring to her by female pronouns, and not changing the words of the song is a huge fail.
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Cox gives it her all but it’s an inconsistent performance at best (with shaky vocals), with an accent varying wildly from British to German to a bad Tim Curry impersonation, sometimes rushing the lines and many times completely missing the emotional impact of the words and music. Case in point, Frank’s last song “I’m Going Home.” This comes right after the (over-choreographed) Floor Show when Riff and Magenta tell Frank his mission is over and they’re going back to their home and he/she is to remain, “in spirit anyway” (spoiler alert – they’re really aliens). With a laser gun pointed at him … or her, Frank (who is only referred to as Dr. Furter, requiring a change in one of The Criminologist’s lines) is supposed to be fearful and pleading for his/her life with the words, “Wait! I can explain,” before launching into the song. Cox speaks the lines quietly, like it’s all just a silly misunderstanding, not a life or death situation and the song is Frankie’s big, emotionally heart-wrenching moment that Cox proceeds to smile almost all the way through. It’s not a joyful moment! But this version makes it so. Of course, the blame for the characterization can’t all be laid at Cox’s feet, so it demonstrates just how little the production team understands the original mterial. Cox’s best moments are her facial expressions during “Hot Patootie, Bless My Soul,” singing “Happy Birthday” to Rocky, and the real sense of menace she brings to “Planet Schmanet Janet.”
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While the film has a couple of good moments like the opening theme song with the Usherette (who is not in the original movie, but transplanted from the stage version), and the dinner scene where Riff pours Dr. Scott’s wine on his plate and Magenta slaps slabs of meat on everyone’s plates (which is then ruined when Columbia is given the audience participation line about meat loaf), there are too many more bad directorial choices. During “Sword of Damocles,” Frank is supposed to chase Rocky around the laboratory. For some reason, the ramps to the upper level are apparently so steep that they can barely walk so it makes the chase look silly. Frank’s seduction of Janet is fine, but Brad’s reaction is too over-the-top. During the “Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me” song, it makes no sense for Janet and Rocky to suddenly be in her bedroom and then back in the lab at the end of the song. And making the movie a film-within-a-film, complete with theater audience participation, is just jarring. As a whole, the film is just too over lit as well.
Two of the most egregious moments come during the Floor Show. Columbia, Rocky, Brad and Janet are traditionally dressed in the same outfit – corset, panties, fishnets and heels. This time they’re all different, taking away the uniformity of a floor show. It’s also way too choreographed. The charm of the original is that these people are not trained entertainers so they can barely stomp their way through the dance routines. Here they seem like Broadway pros. One of the audience participation lines during Rocky’s first line “I’m just seven hours old” is “and can’t sing or dance” certainly does not apply in this case. And during the film’s climax, Riff Raff tells everyone they are beaming the house (or castle in this version) back to their home planet … and then he and Magenta turn into blue beams of light, shooting through the castle wall before Brad and Janet sing “Superheroes,” leaving the castle behind. Until the very end of the song and then we only barely see it begin to lift off before dissolving back to The Criminologist. If they could simply transport back, why take the castle (which is also the movie theater in which the audience is watching the movie!)?
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As for The Criminologist, Fox may have felt the backlash from fans when first announcing this project so they kind of got themselves an insurance policy by casting original Frank-N-Furter Tim Curry. Unfortunately, Curry suffered a severe stroke a couple of years back and is pretty much incapacitated and unable to really perform the duties of the role (which have been handed over to an assistant … and with the actress cast resembling Little Nell Campbell, perhaps they should have tried to cast her or Patricia Quinn in the role). Kudos to Mr. Curry for agreeing to do the role (even though some of the character’s dialog has been cut) but it’s just a bit heartbreaking to see him so debilitated. He does, though, manage to tug the heartstrings as he sings the final lines of “Superheroes.”
With Fox’s success bringing Grease to the screen with a live presentation (and winning an Emmy in the process), they really would have done better doing The Rocky Horror Show as a live production as well, completely avoiding the whole stink of the word “remake.” (Check out the live London stage version that was broadcast on BBC America last year to see how it can be done without entirely evoking the film.) I doubt long-time fans will find much to love about this version, but perhaps it may be able to introduce newbies to the original film (please, watch the original!). One thing is for sure, it’s highly unlikely that we’ll be re-watching this version on an endless 40 year loop as we have the original.
Did you watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Are you a long-time fan? Tell us what you think in the comments below.
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