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In case you didn’t know, this week’s Riverdale is the ‘mid-season finale’ … and they really saved a lot of the good stuff for this week. But when will the show return in this atypical TV season? The end of episode previews only promised that new episodes ‘will return’ but gave no date. From various sources we’ve seen, the return date is … July 7. That may be contingent on the success or failure of the new Kung Fu series which takes over the time slot next week, but for now we’re looking at a four month break. So let’s chew over the events of this week’s episode.
Everything that happens this week is basically a result of the revelation of Hiram Lodge’s plan for Riverdale. After the football game gave residents hope for the town again, and after Reggie came crawling back after his ‘betrayal’ of Hiram by rooting for the Bulldogs, we now know that Hiram is mining the town for a mineral more precious than gold, something called palladium. A vein that ran behind his prison has dried up but there is another vein that runs directly under the Blossom family maple grove. So Hiram needs to drive the residents of Riverdale away by destroying the school and its spirit, and getting hold of the maple grove.
And how will he do all this? Step one is for Reggie to get back into Hiram’s good graces by securing the maple grove. Visiting Thorn Hill, he woos Nana Blossom with a bouquet of roses and next thing you know he’s got a signed contract and he’s back on Team Lodge. Except … a visit from Cheryl to Lodge’s office let them both know that she had Nana declared senile a decade ago so her signature means nothing. Better luck next time guys. Well, there’s more than one way to get the land a maple grove sits on — burn it to the ground, and hope it takes the house down as well.
Meanwhile, Archie is preparing for the school’s Parent-Teacher Night with Kevin since Toni is out on materinty leave, hoping to impress the parents with the strides they’ve made since taking over the high school. Archie is also quesitoning his former commanding officer’s declaration that Archie is going to receive a medal for his last mission. Archie points out he lost ten men on that mission and General Taylor says he lost ten men too, but Archie saved one and that is good enough for the medal. Archie visits Uncle Frank at the prison to get his thoughts and they both agree that the General is attempting to cover up something by distracting with Archie’s honor. So does he go along even though he knows something is wrong — especially after a reporter calls him to basically verify what he thinks — or does he blow the whistle?
Veronica is dealing with Chad drama, waiting for him to sign the divorce papers but … he’s got compromising photos of her kissing Archie so she needs to go back to New York for a day to deal with Chad. But when she gets there, he’s obviously hoping to woo her back with a good Chinese dinner and a trip down memory lane, promising that he’s signed the papers, he just wants one more night. But, the next morning Ronnie discovers Chad has not signed the papers. Worse, he’s made some bad investments using the name of an established business — Veronica’s jewelry boutique, putting her on the hook for his shady deals and threatening that if they divorce now, he could be compelled to testify against her in court because no one would belief the ‘She-Wolf of Wall Street’ didn’t know what was going on with her own husband. Now she’s stuck between a rock and a hard place, and Archie isn’t happy that she’s not returning to Riverdale as promised.
After Glen’s surprise visit and spilling the beans about the blood at the phone booth, he and Betty are trying to lay out a plan to canvas the Lonesome Highway to see if they can find any signs of her sister. But, the FBI is already working the case, going over the 200 miles of highway so there really isn’t anything Betty can do. Except read over Glen’s dissertation about serial killers, nature vs nurture, and how it applies to the Cooper family. Needless to say, Betty isn’t thrilled her family history is the topic of a ‘term paper’ but recent events may make the paper an important read because recordings her father made make it clear that he had been using the same social media site to meet women on the Lonesome Highway that Polly used for hookups. Many of the bodies recovered along that area may have been his work, but the recent ones may be a copycat. Neither Hal nor Betty have the serial killer gene, but Charles does. Here’s the notion no one raised this week — perhaps Polly isn’t a victim, she’s the Lonesome Highway Killer. That seems even more possible now that Juniper and Dagwood have been identified as children who pushed another kid at school down a flight of stairs for saying their mother was dead. Alice and Betty are shocked by their lack of remorse, so this definitely could mean that Polly is carrying on a family tradition, and her kids may as well.
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Jughead has gotten a great offer to publish an excerpt from his new book in a magazine, a spot usually reserved for the likes of Stephen King. But Jughead’s current deep dive into the psychological damage that causes the belief of alien abduction isn’t quite sexy enough, so he needs to turn this into more of a potboiler to get the magazine’s interest. But Juggie has massive writer’s block so he asks Tabitha to keep an eye on him while he indulges in some ‘magic maple mushrooms’. The last time he took a trip he wrote a 500 page novel and didn’t even realize it, but Tabitha doesn’t think falling back on drugs is the way to go. But he calls his dealer anyway and gets a drop … from his ex. Seeing her try to woo Jughead into a night of debauchery, Tabitha jumps in and calls herself his girlfriend and says she’ll take things from here. Jughead and Tabitha do have a moment, but they decide to remain ‘just friends’ and Tabitha cooks up a maple mushroom burger for Jughead. He says she can leave but just to come back and check on him, and when she does he’s just having a good time, dancing around the bunker, not getting anything accomplished. So he handcuffs him to the chair and tells him to work, but out of nowhere both his ex and Betty show up, uncuffing him for a night of pleasure. But they disappear, he notices the handcuffs are off, and there is a stack of papers on the desk. He’s written something … and then a bright light shoots down the entrance to the bunker, drawing Jughead’s curiosity. When Tabitha returns in the morning with breakfast, Jughead his gone and the handcuff are still intact, covered in blood as is the stack of paper.
The second part of Hiram’s plan goes into action just as the Parent-Teacher Night begins — he staged an escape at the prison, releasing everyone from Penelope Blossom to Uncle Frank. Penelope gets to Thorn Hill just in time to alert Cheryl and Nana to the fire raging in the grove approaching the house. Nana says it’s the curse, and the only way to stop it is to sacrifice the interloper, which sends Cheryl’s new girlfriend Minerva scurrying. With that off the table, Penelope says they have to pray that the winds blow the fire in the opposite direction. It works and Hiram and Reggie are puzzled by how the sudden windstorm saved the house. But with the maple trees reduced to ashes, they assume Cheryl will be more than eager to sell the property.
At the high school, with parents, and the General in attendance, the power suddenly goes out. Archie asks Kevin to stay with the parents while he checks the circuit breaker, and he discovers the escaped convicts in the building. Fighting his way back to the room, the General wants them to face the convicts. Archie points out they don’t know how many are there and the General has six bullets. Archie knows the school and Riverdale, and he can get everyone to safety through a tunnel and to the sheriff’s office. Archie is backed up by Kevin and they do make their way to safety. They also learn that the prison break was staged and the convicts were paid to trash the school. Archie knows there is only one person behind this.
While Betty and Alice prepare for the twins’ birthday party, there’s a knock at the door. Who could it be? Alice asks Juniper to get the door — umm, no, you don’t ask a child to answer the door if you don’t know who’s there! — and in walks … Charles. And Chic. Alice casually mentions how she’s been visiting Charles in prison, but has no idea why or how they both ended up at the house. They explain the ‘break out’ and are there to get married. Oh, and Alice reveals Charles talked her into getting a certiifcate online to be an officient so let’s get this party started. And then Glen shows up, and he and Charles were rivals at the FBI. Now Charles can get his revenge by playing a game with Glen called ‘The Pincushion Man’. Each member of the family, starting with the youngest, gets to stick a pin in the Pincushion Man. Juniper is the younger and Chic hands her … a knife! Betty begs Charles not to do that to the children because it will screw them up forever. Charles agrees and says Betty has to do it. They send the twins upstairs and Betty does stab Glen. She then throw the knife at Chic while Alice attacks Charles. The two tussle on the floor and a shot rings out. Charles rolls off of Alice, shot in the chest. Glen has a mere flesh wound, as Betty planned, and Charles is in ICU expected to recover. Chic’s condition is unknown. With everything coming to a head, Betty has vowed now to find Polly and the Lonesome Highway killer by dressing as a trucker and taking matters into her own hands.
And now we wait. We’ll see you back here in July.
Riverdale is currently scheduled to return Wednesday, July 7.
What did you think of this episode? Let us know what you think in the comments section below.
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