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Whodathunk that after Archie and his pals graduated from Riverdale High that they’d be back to school seven years later … as teachers? Of course you can’t have a show called Riverdale if the main characters no longer live in the titular town so it was a natural way to bring them back. But now the town’s very existence is in danger thanks to Hiram Lodge, and he’s none too pleased that the high school is reopened because a school gives people hope, and he fears the town may spring back to life around the school ‘like weeds’.
But Archie and company have their work cut out for them as far as the students go. Archie seems to have the best of it heading up the RROTC, which functions as both a recruitment tool and gym class. The guys in his class actually want to be there, but the same can’t be said for the others. Jughead is teaching an English lit class and his first hurdle is getting the students to do their assignments. No one read Of Mice and Men over the summer like they were supposed to, so Jughead’s going to have to go to Plan B — a pop quiz. His life gets a little more complicated when some of his students find him also working as a waiter at Pop’s, wondering why some bestselling author has to take a job as a teacher and a waiter.
Veronica has an economics class but the students aren’t her real problem, it’s her husband who shows up to her class unannounced with flowers and cupcakes. Betty has a shop class in which they are going to take a car apart, but her students are more concerned about Betty being the daughter of The Black Hood. Yes, that follows her around still. Maybe she can use that to motivate her students who may slack off a bit. And despite that shower they took together, Betty’s flame for Archie has been reignited, and vice versa, with the two trying to find a place to hook up without Jughead finding out. Betty suggests the back seat of the car her class will be working on, and that turned out to be a great idea because that was the night Hiram sent some of his goons from Sodale to burn the school to the ground leading to some ‘arsonis interruptus’ for the lovebirds.
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Noticing that some of the firestarters were from the Sodale High football team, coached by Reggie Mantle, Archie decided that Riverdale needed its football team back but … there’s no money in the budget. Toni called in her one favor with Cheryl to get the school funded — which left Cheryl financially tapped out, causing some issues with her construction crew and may come back to bite her when her art forgeries are discovered — and told Archie there was no money in the sports budget. He later learned she put it all into reviving the Vixens — which also causes a problem with Cheryl, who is not happy anyone is taking her beloved Vixens away from her — telling Archie that cheerleading is a sport. What’s a guy to do but turn to his rich ex-girlfriend? He pays a visit to Ronnie and Chad, and she offers him the money, no questions asked. But Chad proves himself a massive tool when he suggests that someone as proud as Archie wouldn’t want to accept a handout, so perhaps he can work for the money by renovating their apartment at the Pembroke. Archie says he’ll do it, but Veronica sees it as a total dick move, driving a wedge further between them after a night of karaoke at the White Wyrm — where she and Chad did a duet of ‘Shallow’ that brought tears to Kevin’s eyes — rekindled their romance. Archie managed to scrape together a team, including one female from Betty’s shop class, but it may not be easy sailing now that Hiram has gotten wind of Riverdale High’s football team reboot courtesy of his daughter’s money. As for Veronica, she’s putting the brakes on her marriage, but that may cause her more problems because it seems Chad has been conspiring with Hiram behind her back.
Polly has still not returned home, and Toni revealed that she knows Polly has been using a chat site to hook up with truck drivers that pass through town, either for sex, drugs or both. Betty and Kevin log into Polly’s account and connect with the last person she chatted with, setting up another rendezvous with his as Polly. The ambush works, especially as Betty can flash her FBI badge around (and would probably get into trouble doing so in a not-so-official capacity), but the trucker tells her that the last time he saw Polly, something happened and she jumped out of his truck and ran down the highway. He tried to stop her but she just kept running. Using her cell phone signal, Betty tracks Polly’s last location to a large swamp area where she, Alice and Kevin go to search. At night. What?! But Kevin find something, and it is a hand sticking out of the ground. Is it Polly?
With business slow at Pop’s, Tabitha tells Jughead he can write his book instead of just standing around. He decides to interview her since the book is about small-town life, and wonders why she gave up a career in the big city with a six-figure salary to come to Riverdale and run a diner. For her it is about using her knowledge to build on the diner — she’s installed gas pumps to attract the truckers passing through town — and wants this to be her family legacy. She also suggests Jughead talk to a local, Old Man Dreyfus, who has stories about ‘the mothmen’. Of course Jughead is intrigued and arranges to meet the man at his place, which is decorated with large sculptures of the mothmen. Dreyfus explains to Jughead that many years ago the mothmen came and took his friends to their spaceship. One would go, one would come back. Having lived in Riverdale almost his entire life and never hearing these stories, Jughead doesn’t take Dreyfus all that seriously. Until … attempting to corroborate Dreyfus’ story with the men who went missing he discovers that they are all dead from cancer. Dreyfus was the only one who wasn’t taken. Could there be something to his story after all?
He may not have much time to find out because back at Archie’s house as they prepare to hit the sack, Archie hears Jughead yell that there’s a fire. The front and back of the house are engulfed in flames, trapping both Archie and Jughead inside. And there is no Riverdale Fire Department. It’s not hard to guess who is responsible.
Riverdale is taking a week off, but will return on March 10.
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