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Riverdale closed a few doors this week while opening a new one for Betty to enter, setting up a new mystery that seems like it may finally explain what the flash-forwards to Spring Break have been showing us. But all of our core group got some action this week, we finally saw Hermione in a couple of scenes, Alice is getting in on some action, Moose made a cameo, an unpleasant ghost of the past returns and we got our first glimpse of Katy Keene (with a helpful on-screen graphic reminding up about the new show right at the same moment Katy appeared … what a coincidence!).
Archie
With Mary away, Archie is left in the care of Uncle Frank and everything seems to be going well. Ted Bishop, an old friend/Army buddy of Frank’s arrives, and Archie being Archie invites the man to join them for dinner and spend the night. After Archie left for school, Ted tries to kill Frank but luckily Archie forgot his phone and clonked Ted on the head. Turns out the two men were in some kind of mercenary program and Ted is there to tie up a loose end … probably not really understanding that he will be the next loose end. Archie and Frank go to Sheriff Jones, who seems just as perplexed by this sudden new storyline as we are, and agrees to help but pinning Ted down will require a controlled environment. Hey, Archie owns a gym!
And it’s at the gym where Frank lures Ted to his arrest. Ted tells Frank he broke the code and all bets are off now, so Frank bolts in the middle of the night to protect Archie. Ted, however, manages to overtake a guard, breaks out of jail and corners Archie in one of Riverdale High’s lavatories where he beats the crap out of Archie, at one point picking the boy up and smashing him into a porcelain sink — without anything more serious than a couple of cuts and bruises — but Kevin walks in and distracts Ted long enough for Archie to hit him in the head with the porcelain lid of the toilet tank. Ted apparently is a super soldier and the skull bashing barely phases him (perhaps Archie is a super soldier too?) and he’s on the move again, knocking Kevin out by pushing him into the lockers (realism!) and nearly killing Archie again before … Frank returns and hits Ted in the head with a trophy. A trophy take him out. Not a toilet tank lid, but a trophy. With Ted in Federal custody, Archie tries to convince Frank to turn himself in and cut a deal to spill all the tea on his mercenary group before more people die, but in the end Frank bolts for good this time. Farewell Uncle Frank, we barely knew ye.
Veronica
Veronica is in a particularly chipper mood as she tells her parents (Oh hi, Hermione, long time no see) that she and Smithers are headed to New York because she has an interview at Barbard. What a coincidence, Hiram and Hermione are going to New York too! But they promise to go their separate ways once they arrive. They do, and Ronnie meets up with her old best friend Katy Keene (premiering February 6 on The CW) who says she has some new clothing picked out for her to make the best impression at Barnard. After shopping Katy asks, ‘Do you like drag?’ — and of course Veronica likes drag — and suggests they go to Molly’s Crisis (a riff on the actual Marie’s Crisis in NYC, which from what I’ve been told does not actually have drag shows) to catch up. I don’t think we ever saw a drag queen once they got there. They talk about Archie and the potential long-distance relationship, and Ronnie brings up Katy’s mom … who is very, very ill. (Sad emoji face.) When the Lodge’s return home, Hermione has a secret heart-to-heart with her daughter about the real reason for the trip to New York. Hiram is … very, very ill with a neuromuscular disorder, and Hermione describes in detail the torture Hiram faces. But … they caught it early so with treatment he should be fine, for a while, or not … but is anyone buying any of this? Veronica certainly did because she announces she’s been accepted into Barnard under her given name. Knowing that she’s restored the Lodge to her name puts a great big smile on daddy’s face. Which makes his illness even more suspect.
Cheryl & Toni
Because absolutely no one asked for it, Riverdale gave us the return visit of the repugnant Nick St. Claire, now turning up at The Maple Club to set up a party. Not seeing Cheryl while talking to Toni, Cheryl nearly had an emotional meltdown when she saw him. Cheryl later confides in Toni what had happened back in Season 2, so Toni decides to plot her revenge. Spying Kevin and Fangs at school exchanging rolls of cash, Toni wants in on whatever they’re up to. Fangs explains and Toni decides this is how she will get back at Nick. On the night of his party at the club, Toni invites him to a private room, and apparently drugs him like he did to Cheryl. When he awakens, Kevin and Fangs are there and there are feathers everywhere. Toni shows Nick a video of their tickle session and threatens to expose him to the world if he ever shows his face in Riverdale again. Later, the trio enjoy the video with Cheryl in what was a completely unnecessary subplot. Like, are we ever going to get back to those VHS tapes from outside everyone’s houses?
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Jughead & Betty
As we know from the previous episode, Jughead has chosen to duel Bret according to the arcane Quill & Skull rulebook. And it’s a best two out of three, so the first challenge is fencing, which Jughead knowns nothing about so he chooses Donna to prepare him. Of course he loses to Bret but was the seminar room the best place for a fencing duel? Do they not have a fencing room if they do fencing at Stonewall? Jughead just wants a bare-knuckle fight and he gets his wish, and takes out Bret and his glass jaw with one punch. So it all comes down to chess. While all of these duels are going on, Betty and Alice are breaking into Stonewall to find evidence against Bret. After meeting with Moose about Mr. Chipping, trying to determine why he killed himself, or was murdered, and what his tie was to the military (he’s the one who suggested Moose enlist), Moose reveals Bret claimed to have a tape made in their room of Moose having sex with a classmate. Bret basically shamed Moose out of Stonewall Prep, so the Snoop Sisters go to the room while the duels are on-going but Bret catches them. He claims there are no tapes and he’ll let them go … this time. But he also suggests there may be a tape of Betty and Jughead.
Not prepared to let this go, the pair decide to seek out the initiation room in the basement of the school because that must be where Bret keeps his secret sex tapes. And Betty finds them all stashed inside a wall. She also sets of a silent alarm that alerts Bret to the break-in, interrupting the chess match. Jughead is a bit shocked to find Betty and Alice in the room, and even more shocked to learn Bret was making sex tapes … but they aren’t. They are the videotaped ‘confessions’ of the new Quill & Skull members, and yes Jughead made one. Foiled, Betty returns the tapes but … not all of them. Instead of keeping Jughead’s, she keeps Donna’s and Donna’s confession is word-for-word what she told Betty about her affair with Mr. Chipping (and when meeting with Chipping’s wife, she said her husband never had an affair with ‘that girl’). Jughead basically lets Bret win the chess match and the duel, saying he doesn’t need to prove himself to any of them and in the process hurt Bret more deeply than that sock to the jaw ever could have because he didn’t get to beat Jughead. Jughead snatched that claim to victory from him and that was all he really cared about. Betty, on the other hand, now believes that Bret is not the mastermind behind all of the Quill & Skulls’ skullduggery … Donna may be the evil genius.
So now the question is, how does all of this play into the ‘death’ of Jughead?
What did you think of this episode? Let us know what you think in the comments section below.
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