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Well that was fast! Riverdale wasted no time in bringing Archie back from the brink of death — well, actually from past the brink — and we also have absolutely no idea how long Archie’s been recuperating but judging from condition of the scars on his chest, it’s been several months. (I wonder how long before those scars magically disappear so the makeup people don’t have to apply them every time Archie has his shirt off?) But being hounded by Hiram Lodge, spending months in a cabin in Canada, and surviving The Revenant (as Veronica puts it), Archie’s got a new attitude to go with his dyed hair (which Ronnie is not happy about so he dyes it back to his natural red).
But poor Archie has a lot on his plate when he gets home. SATs are coming up and Principal Weatherbee thinks it better that Archie repeat his junior year. His pals offer to help him cram for the test, but he’s not sure he can do it. It doesn’t help that Reggie accidentally spilled the beans about him and Veronica — but will this set up the classic comic book rivalry between the two with Ronnie stuck in the middle? Or is Archie really going to give up that easily?
Well, perhaps he does have a reason to drop V like a hot potato. With Fred, FP and a couple of Serpents taking an unscheduled meeting with Hiram to let him know Archie is back and any harm to him will result in Hiram’s death, that seems to have set a lot of things in motion this week. First, Hiram thinks it’s time to put a new sheriff in place and he wants Claudius Blossom — much to Claudius’s chagrin. Even Hermione thinks it’s a bad idea to put a business partner in charge of the law. People will talk … and the last sheriff was decapitated. Hiram has no worries. Then he lets Hermione — who really is in the dark about all of her husband’s plans — know that he’s buying the now former convent as their new castle. Hermione is pretty sure the place is now haunted by all the nuns who killed themselves while bowing down to the Gargoyle King. Hiram assures her he will have the place cleansed.
What Hiram doesn’t know is that Jughead and the Serpents have infiltrated the Gargoyle Gang with Fangs Fogerty now an ‘official’ member and about to be initiated … with the Gargoyle King himself in attendance. Juggie is certain this is how they will take down Hiram, and at the ceremony as Fangs is about to be branded, the Serpents show up and put a stop to it and finally unmask the Gargoyle King … but it’s not Hiram (and who really though Hiram Lodge would be dressing up in that costume and roam the woods?). Nope, it’s disgraced Serpent Tall Boy — who everyone thought was dead.
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But now they have leverage with Hiram, forcing Tall Boy to make a call to say he had the ‘Red Paladin’ (Archie, who was more than willing to play decoy) and to meet at the usual place. With the plan in action, they await Hiram’s arrival on a bridge in the middle of the night, Archie on his knees, the Gargoyle King his captor. But it’s not Hiram who exits the limo, it’s Claudius Blossom. And it’s not Tall Boy in the Gargoyle King outfit, it’s FP. Well, seems that no one is getting what they came for, but Hiram suspected there were shenanigans at play and was telling Hermione, on the phone, that he always keeps himself out of harm’s way. Suddenly his tea cup shatters in his hand and a small dot of red form on his white shirt. Hiram has been shot, but he’s not dead. And that takes us back to why Archie may be so quick to give up on Veronica. Arriving at the hospital to see how she’s doing (after running out of a party she had thrown for him at the speakeasy and being MIA during Hiram’s shooting), it’s clear she thinks Archie may have pulled the trigger. Unlikely — because you can’t have the ‘hero’ of the series suddenly an attempted murderer even though he’s become suddenly hyper-aggressive, causing his father some concern — but Ronnie isn’t able to hide the uncertainty. While Archie thought the two were going to be able to rekindle their romance, Reggie Mantle was the one who stepped in to console her.
There’s another problem as well. Claudius Blossom, whom FP placed under ‘citizen’s arrest’ (!), has been murdered, and Hermione thinks it’s finally time to pull out the big guns — appointing FP Jones as the new sheriff of Riverdale! Okay, but why not just give Tom Keller his old job back? And who killed Claudius and shot Hiram? Oh yeah, Tall Boy is now really dead too after Fangs and Sweet Pea ‘accidentally’ shoot him.
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Not Hal Cooper, who’s locked up like Hannibal Lechter. After months of avoiding him, Betty is forced to pay a visit when she learns Alice has drained all of her money, including her college money, to give to The Farm to help take care of the children she liberated from The Sister. But Alice forged Hal’s signature and Betty needs him to sign an affidavit disputing the forged signature in the hopes that Betty can get her money back (although Hal assures her she’ll be just fine with colleges lining up to give her scholarships).
But coming out as a serial killer has changed Hal, and he’s now offering to help her solve her latest case. He claims to know all about the Gryphons and Gargoyles game, Ascension Night and the Midnight Club, and the death of Principal Featherhead. Hal even takes credit for Featherhead being his first kill (although he claims he was trying to kill the Midnight Club). Betty is a bit horrified, especially when she finds out her mother has been visiting Hal every Monday. Alice denies the allegations and Betty asks the guard for a description of the Alice who comes to visit Hal. Turns out it is Penelope Blossom. She has to pose as the missus for conjugal visits. ICK. And she may have told Hal all about the Midnight Club and the principal’s death.
Betty realizes that Hal’s been playing her just to make her come visit. She still needs his signature though and he makes her an offer: his signature in exchange for a G&G game manual and his ‘expert’ opinion on helping Betty solve the mystery of the Gargoyle King. After coming home and finding members of The Farm at her house, again, thanking her for her ‘donation’, Betty decides she’s probably better off spending time with her serial killer father than her psycho mother.
Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 8:00 PM.
What did you think of the mid-seaon premiere? Is Archie really dead? Let us know what you think in the comments section below.
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