ABC
After a lackluster episode because of too much recent emphasis upon Miss Piggy’s ongoing confrontations with actresses, it was refreshing to see a new story line emerge on The Muppets in this week’s “The Ex-Factor.” Miss Piggy and America learned a little more about Kermit’s new girlfriend Denise after not seeing much of her since the first episode. While Miss Piggy may claim she has never felt better since the break-up, it’s obvious she’s not entirely over Kermit yet. And maybe she never will be. It’s hard to move on sometimes, especially after a long-term relationship. Some of us are destined to be the walking wounded. No, not zombies exactly. But perhaps these paler versions of ourselves, incapable of letting our guard completely down and opening ourselves up again to the possibility of a new love because we’re not ready to let go of the past enough to move ahead into the future, even if it’s beckoning to us.
ABC
One of Miss Piggy’s greatest quips ever came after special guest star Kristin Chenoweth commended her for handling herself beautifully around Denise. Miss Piggy replied, “Well, I am pretty great with kids!” It was the perfect amount of snarkiness for an ex-girlfriend commenting on the new girlfriend and her apparent younger age. You go, Miss Piggy! Haven’t we all experienced a moment like that at least once in our lives?
Kermit is always a nervous wreck, isn’t he? If he were anything but a puppet, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he’d already suffered from at least one heart attack by now. It turns out it’s Denise’s birthday and Kermit claims he’s the worst gift-giver ever so he’s stressing out over what to give her. Leave it to Uncle Deadly (one of my favorite lesser-known Muppets) to put the fear of God into Kermit, telling him that if she’s left feeling unimpressed by his gift, the doubts will begin to creep in and the relationship is doomed to unravel. No pressure! So much emphasis is placed upon selecting that ultimate gift for your lover’s birthday, especially the newer the relationship is. Why do we do that to ourselves? If the person really loves you and feels confident in the relationship, shouldn’t they be happy with just about anything you’ve personally selected to give them? After all, isn’t it the thought that really counts?
Kermit brainstorms various gift ideas with members of his staff, ranging from a tennis bracelet with her initials on it (Pepe quickly shoots that one down saying that’s good if they’d been married for 30 years with kids and he was seeing another woman), to a scale so she can see whether or not she’s really fat (we have Gonzo to thank for that especially sensitive gift suggestion), to a homemade gift proposed by Scooter (it ends up being a salad plate with a tableau of their first date painted by Kermit, which ends up so hilariously bad that it’s quickly tossed into the “whoopsie bin”). Chip, the creepy IT guy, suggests snooping on her recent purchasing history on her computer to determine her wants and needs, while Pepe suggests flowers he’s grown himself. When Kermit tells him panickedly that her birthday is the next day and it’s too late to grow flowers, Pepe tells him to start growing them for his next ex-girlfriend because this one’s a lost cause already.
Is it any wonder that a desperate Kermit next does the truly unthinkable and turns to Miss Piggy for advice? Miss Piggy is a self-described expert gift-giver with a gift for giving gifts, and since she agreed long ago to remain friends with Kermit, she decides to help him. She bravely asks him several personal questions about Denise to slake her curiosity (and to make a few more snarky remarks) but also so she can make a more personal gift selection. When Kermit gets called away to a meeting, Miss Piggy says she will handle the birthday shopping by herself. Will Miss Piggy take the high road and select a meaningful gift or use this as a unique opportunity to get the ultimate revenge on an ex? What would you do?
Miss Piggy ends up picking out the perfect gift – a jewelry box made from Denise’s home state’s tree with a charm bracelet inside with a little silver ketchup bottle on it (because Denise loves ketchup so much she even puts it on tomatoes) and the box plays “You Are the Sunshine of My Life,” which just so happens to be Kermit and Miss Piggy’s song. The song choice is meant to be a torturous reminder to Kermit every time Denise plays it because, as Miss Piggy says at the end of the episode, “You don’t ask your ex to buy your girlfriend a present – that’s so messed up!”
ABC
There was also a subplot involving Kristin Chenoweth traveling with The Electric Mayhem to perform at a party. When you travel with the Mayhem, you can expect all the Funyuns you can eat, but probably not much consideration for your personal safety. Your seat belt is likely to be a guitar strap not attached to anything and you might just find yourself stranded on the side of the road because the band has decided you’re the reason to blame for all their petty differences in a rare moment of hazy clarity. Just ask Kristin Chenoweth. She’s probably still sitting there.
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