Grey’s Anatomy :: Jump Into The Fog

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The only thing foggier about that season finale was the writing trajectory it took to reach its conclusion. And despite some hiccups? All in all? That was a lame season finale. We basically know everything that’s going to happen. Except for maybe the fate of Jackson Avery.

And can we back up for two seconds? There was buckets of rain pummeling down over top of them … I get that the fog is isolated to that one particular patch of highway that blocks all people – like the in-labor Teddy Altman & sidekick Shepherd and Search & Rescue Owen & Schmidt with Golden Blood Lady – from getting anywhere – but they were seriously experiencing torrential downpour one second, and then hiking through hot, humid mud to get back to the car the next. Maggie keeps exasperating their issues … but that’s okay, because now he gets to see what he’s really dealing with. I sort of feel bad for Jackson. And I kept waiting for the cliffhanger to be Jackson getting smashed by a car. Not lost in the fog. Did Jesse Williams not re-sign his contract!?

The only person you really feel for this episode is poor Tom Koracick. Teddy chose Owen. Owen chose Teddy. Nobody remembered to call him to tell him that the baby was being born. So he’s home alone in her house building her a nursery. Which would be a fine conclusion to the Teddy-Koracick storyline … if they hadn’t just signed Greg Germann for next season. I really do feel for him.

Nobody is going to jail. Except Andrew, who’s already there for like a hot second. First of all – he’d make bail – as it’s a non-violent felony and he has zero priors … so that was just rubbish. And second of all, Meredith is 200% right. She can afford the best lawyer, she has no priors, and what she was trying to do, despite its being wrong? Was – as she said – addressing something that is so much more wrong and way more broken than what she did.

And nobody’s fired. I mean it’s not like it was an LVAD or something. I busted out laughing when Bailey said that – because I know we were all feeling it. George, Alex, Cristina, Meredith – all standing there, ‘No, I cut the LVAD wire.’ And it was a hilarious throw back, right up until Bailey said – ‘This is serious! This is criminal!’ HOLD UP – WHOA WHOA WHOA. So intentionally cutting a patient’s LVAD wire to purposefully worsen their test results to bump them up on the UNOS transplant list and essentially steal a beating donor heart right out of some other guy’s chest is somehow NOT criminal? Or NOT serious? Seriously?? (I mean I guess the GA karma gods did tack back around to Izzie … she did get cancer hardcore.)

Seeing as the show was just re-signed not only for Season 16 but also Season 17 (that is, if it doesn’t get dragged down to drown like Meredith did in Season 3 trying to carry Station 19 along with it next season …) it is very, very unlikely that anyone is going to jail. Or staying fired. Unless we’re going to do the time warp ahead multiple years … even still. No one’s fired. No one’s in jail. LAME.

Jo is finally going to get the help she needs; Bailey is right. She’s depressed. It sucks, but it’s treatable. (And I know Camilla Luddington hasn’t announced baby #2 … but makeup doesn’t make your face look that puffy, and even if it did … makeup doesn’t fill out your frame and pump up your boobs … my money’s on mommy break!) What’s really tough is Alex – and his whole ‘Jo’s already gone, and you’re going to leave’ talking about Meredith potentially going to jail. Because that makes his long-standing Cassandra-esque prophecy of every woman he’s ever loved going crazy or dying. (Or in Izzie’s case, both!) His mom went crazy, Ava-Rebecca went crazy … not 100% he love-loved Lexie but she had a mental breakdown … and now Mer must be having one too if she’s seriously considering jail time. (Which she’s not because she’s right – they’ll fine her – the insurance company will probably drop her … but she’s not going to jail.)

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Noble that Catherine Fox & her foundation is going to care for the migrant family and get her sorted out. Stupid that her foundation can’t settle the insurance issue out of court, and then just drop that company and switch to another one. Which would save everybody a whole big bunch of mess. But then, how else would we get Meredith to tell DeLuca that she loves him too? If it’s got to be forced from you on pain of imprisonment? Probably not coming from a place of ‘this should be happening in this universe right now.’ Don’t get me wrong, Derek was no saint, and in fact the more I reflect on how they got started and everything he did – remember the whore shaming when he found out after he chose Addi that Mer was dating the vet? – the more not-so-McDreamy I think he really is … but we’re still not really fully done with Mer-McDreamy. And DeLuca is no McCharacter, despite being a dope with very little common sense and grand sweeping romantic gestures.

It was great to see Toby’s mom twitch. It was great that Golden Bloody Lady is walking through her agoraphobic experience and learning to live through it and that she saved golden blood boy. But perhaps the greatest part of this episode (aside from the hilarious ‘YOU SLEPT WITH MY OB!?!?’ cry from Teddy because that was hysterical … even I forgot he’d done that – and why did he look hyper confused when Carina said their affair meant very little to her?) with Schmidt & Nico!! Well, mostly just Schmidt. He’s become what George would have been if George had lived through being smashed to an unrecognizable pulp by a bus.

Schmidt grew up fast and it’s beautiful. Nico finally swallowed his wounded pride and bitter pill and came crawling back for the lamest apology, though not unjustified, in his existence. LOVE LOVE LOVE that Schmidt totally may have just outed himself to his mom. Though shame on you, mom, for giving that soup to Nico and then not saying you’re gonna go get more for your boy. (Kinda forgot he lived in his mom’s basement … which we should have remembered because Jo slept with him there once … before he knew he was gay.)

It looks like the only thing we’re hanging onto – or that’s drastically up in the air for next season – is what’s going to happen to poor Tom Koracick? And whether or not Jackson is now road splat. Even Amelia and Link are sort of on the milquetoast scale of ‘what’s happening with them?’ And Allison? Was that Teddy’s mom’s name? Cute lil girl name, though. Nobody’s going to/staying in jail. Nobody’s fired. And nobody died. And most of what happened was terribly predictable. Can’t recall a season finale that was this lame since ‘encased in cement’ boy from season four – and even that had the house of candles ‘wait for me’ (and it had the writer’s strike to blame for its extraordinary lameness!)

Hang onto your … well … your Jackson & your Tom Koracick for next season, I guess.

Grey’s Anatomy will return for its 16th season in the Fall.

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