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I don’t have a whole lot to say about this week’s episode of Dynasty except that it was terrible! Now I know it’s not the greatest show on TV, but it’s been fun and things have been on a roll so far this season after what became a dreadful slog as the first season ground on. But after last week’s major bombshell that Steven is the son of Alexis and Anders, ‘Snowflakes in Hell’ was the best they could come up with to follow that?
It started out fun enough with each of the guilty parties, including Blake, telling their side of the story. Basically, the affair happened after Adam was kidnapped, Blake withdrew, Alexis needed someone to console her, Anders was there, bingo, you have a bouncing baby boy. And apparently there’s never been a DNA test, so in the end all this falderall could be for nuttin’. But instead of the three principles speaking to each other, Fallon threw Alexis out of the house, pushing her back into her mobile home, giving her a $250,000 check (when Alexis was expecting millions), and having her moved back to the property where the ruins of the burned out stables stand.
Blake went into total dick mode, refusing to let Anders, the man he’s trusted his entire life, to even get a word in edgewise. Anders said he would resign, but Blake said he could not resign until Anders found a suitable replacement, and then made it impossible for Anders to find a suitable replacement, at one point throwing things at one of the potential candidates who was a long-time employee. So … Blake wants Anders gone yet he’s not letting him go. That is some real passive aggressiveness there. One thing Blake did that was totally surprising was he allowed Steven to keep his shares of Carrington Atlantic, and then signed the paperwork to sell the company to Liam’s family. And according to Fallon, they will build a new dynasty. I hope that means they will replace the writing staff who wrote this episode.
To deal with all the drama, Steven decided to move to Paraguay and return to his charitable mission in life. And Sam even agreed to go along to support his husband … even though the nearest nightlife was30 minutes away. Fallon tried to talk Steven out of the move, but he went and before you could bat an eye, he already had a project up and running, building homes in the middle of nowhere in Paraguay. With the family fractured, Fallon decided they needed to band together and support Steven, and before you could bat an eye, she, Blake, Anders and Alexis were walking over a hill to greet — and help? — Steven with his cause to prove … something.
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While everyone was supposed to be roughing it, and Sam is curating his Instagram with pics of his new friend the llama, Kirby had stolen Steven’s credit card information and before you could bat an eye, there was an elaborate harem tent set up where Alexis was getting a massage … and a new purse. Steven was presented with the bill and everyone thought Alexis did it all because she got a purse out of the deal. Seeing how all of her efforts were going to Hell, Fallon got to work and started building a house. Everyone else finally chipped in, they got a wall up, it promptly fell down and Steven gave up and went back to Atlanta. What. The. F… ?
Back home, Alexis learned Kirby framed her, Anders had called new Cristal before they left so she was there waiting, and Steven decided to go back to Paraguay … alone. Promising Sam he’d be home before Christmas. And while all this was going on, Culhane was forced to attend a poker game to get some insider information for that woman he’s now stuck working for, the one with an apparent case of laryngitis, because she made a few calls and derailed his new job in New York. What Culhane didn’t count on was Jeff Colby being there, but he had a good cover story so Jeff didn’t let on they knew each other. But when it came time to leave, Culhane tried to get Jeff to leave with him because that woman (who is so insignificant she doesn’t even get a credit on the Dynasty IMDB page for the episode) was trying to scream in his earpiece that he had thirty seconds to get out. Jeff wanted to stay, Culhane didn’t want him to get caught up in whatever was about to happen, he picked a fight, they got tossed out, and before Jeff could take another swing, Culhane dragged him around the corner of the hallway as the FBI crashed the party. So now Jeff knows Culhane is involved with something and that may, or may not depending on who’s writing the show next week, come back to bite him.
I do have to give credit for one funny line from Sam to Blake: ‘Even your hair looks angry.’ That was the highlight of this mess of an episode.
What did you think of the episode? Tell us in the comments section below!
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