Dynasty :: One big, unhappy family

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It’s the penultimate episode of the first season of the rebooted Dynasty and they are throwing a lot of information at us to lead into the season finale which is sure to end on a whopper of a cliffhanger. And while Blake tries to pretend publicly that everything is a-okay with his family and his company, attempting to put a happy face on the PR nightmare of possibly killing dozens of people with toxic waste, he has no idea of the knives that are about to be plunged into his back. And frankly, he deserves each and every one of them. The only family member he doesn’t seem to have to worry about at this moment is Steven. But the women in his life … oy!

Cristal

After being humiliated in public by Blake at the press conference announcing her ‘retirement’ as COO to focus on family, Cristal has to keep putting on a happy face as Blake and Fallon arrange a PR stunt to prove everything is fine and dandy publicly and privately. Even after Blake’s failed attempt to make amends, Cristal sucks it up and acts like the happy wife (and Alexis smells a rat, or a ‘dirty chihuahua’). What Blake doesn’t know is that she’s already moving forward with a divorce, one that she won’t announce until after Steven and Sam’s wedding, and shopping for a condo. But Alexis has her followed and gets some incriminating photos of her in what seems to be an intimate moment with another man … in actuality her realtor. And of course Alexis makes sure Blake sees the photos. Cristal claims she is buying the place for Steven and Sam, but later when she tries to put a down payment on the condo, she learns she has insufficient funds to do so. Blake has cut her off because he did his own digging and learned the truth. But he has news for her — she’s not going anywhere, going so far as to tell her he owns her. He has enough dirt on her to have her put away for a very long time, but the food at her current prison is probably better at the real one she’d be shipped off to. I really don’t like this whole storyline and I don’t know how the writers are going to repair this relationship in Season 2.

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Fallon

Blake probably never imagined Fallon and Cristal would become co-conspirators against him. Fallon insists that taking the COO job was not a dig at Cristal, pointing out that Cristal would have done the same thing. And she already did. Zing! But Cristal’s last act as COO, hiring Michael Culhane, seems to have backfired as he publicly comes after Blake during the PR shoot. Unaware that Culhane was now an employee, Blake promptly fired him and told Fallon to choose between her heart or her family. It seemed Fallon chose to cut Michael loose. But did she, or was it all for show because after he was fired, the two were still talking about carrying out their plan, but as the family was in a good place at the moment (because of the arrival of Adam), Fallon didn’t know what to do. Michael gave her the same ultimatum that Blake did. What’s a girl to do?

With Blake on to them and having shredded all the documents that could implicate Carrington Atlantic in the poisoning of dozens of people, including Culhane’s father, Cristal tells Fallon that there was one person who knew all of Blake’s dirty secrets … and unfortunately Matthew Blaisdell is dead. But Claudia isn’t, she’s just in the loony bin and that’s where Fallon goes to make Claudia an offer: she gives Fallon access to Matthew’s documents and she springs Claudia from her prison. It’s a deal Claudia eagerly accepts. Fallon does find evidence that Blake knew long before Culhane’s father took ill about the toxic waste and the inherent health issues, but has she forgotten about Claudia? With the new dirt she has on her father’s knowledge of the toxic waste dumping, Fallon brings the information to the CA Board and asks them to vote to remove Blake as CEO of the company and install her in his place.

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Claudia

In one of the episode’s bombshells, Claudia awaited Fallon’s return to secure her release from the facility but she had another visitor — her husband Matthew! He’s not dead! He’s not happy Claudia trusted Fallon because, well, Claudia is still in the hospital but he still has a plan to help get her out. It’s the least he could do for the mother-to-be of his child!

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Alexis

The ex-Mrs. Carrington is stirring up a whole lot of trouble this week. First, that little tidbit she dropped on Jeff and Monica about them being Carringtons led the siblings to question their grandmother about a rumored affair with Thomas Carrington. She denied it, but later the guilt caught up with her, saying she’d never lied to her grandchildren before so now was not the time to start. Yes, she had an affair with Thomas and gave birth to Blake’s half-sister, their mother which makes them part of the Carrington family. Jeff assumes this is why he never wanted Jeff and Fallon together since they’re half-cousins, leading Monica to quip, ‘I hope you slept with the right half.’ But they wonder if all of this had been out in the open perhaps the families wouldn’t have been at war all this time. But why is Alexis being so helpful to them now? Guilt? She knows Thomas left equal shares to all of his grandchildren in his will and she claims to want to make sure Jeff and Monica get their due. But I smell a rat.

As do Blake and Sam, and his same is Adam. Or Hank. Steven is excited to bring his newfound brother home but Sam is a bit stand-offish, especially when he offers to throw them a bachelor party. Sam’s worried it’s going to be a gay overload with glitter and drag queens but it ends up being a night at a country western bar. Steven was thrilled that his ‘brother’ would even make this offer, but Sam was now wishing for glitter and drag queens. Blake and Anders were a little taken aback by the venue as well, not knowing it was Adam who set the whole thing up. Blake flat out told Adam to his face that he was not his son, and then revealed to Sam that the kidnappers had cut off one of Adam’s fingers but he never told Alexis. This ‘Adam’ has all ten fingers. But when a redneck begins calling Sam ‘princess,’ Adam steps in to defend his ‘new brother’ and punches the guy in the face. And then a prosthetic finger flies across the room. He is Adam and Blake swallows his pride and suspicions.

But … back at the loft, Adam reports back to Alexis about the night’s events, commenting on the portrait she was painting of her little dog that apparently got eaten by coyotes after Blake let it out of her trailer. Adam said he never liked that dog and Alexis said the dog hated him. Huh? How could Adam even know about that dog? And then he leaned in and started making out with her! WHAT IS GOING ON? No, the show hasn’t tipped over into an incestuous relationship. The guy is a fraud, working with Alexis to take down Blake and take complete control of Carrington Atlantic. The guy even went so far as to have one of his fingers amputated to carry out the ruse. That’s devotion, too bad he’s chosen to put all that trust into Alexis. But will she be able to carry out her plan while Fallon and Cristal are also both scheming against Blake?

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Certainly a lot of questions leading into the finale, but the biggest ones I have are: what was the jacket Jeff was wearing, why is Alexis dressed in a Jiffy Pop top, and who told Cristal those Pepto Bismol-colored pants went with that floral top? Not to mention the even worse kimono and head wrap! For the love of Pete, can someone please get these people some decent clothing?!

What did you think of this episode? Tell us in the comments section below!