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And here we are at the mid-season finale point of Doom Patrol and everyone has a lot to unpack as it becomes clear that only Larry and Cliff still have their longevity, and somehow Willoughby was able to reverse the de-aging spell as everyone is back to normal. But did he do it? No one really knows and no one really lingered on the issue because they all have major issues to resolve this week.
Jane & Cliff
Jane is happy to be herself again but not thrilled that her hair has some gray in it. And while she wants to kick into action, she is getting no help from Cliff who is just concerned with fixing his car and getting to Florida to touch Rory. More on him later. Fed up, Jane goes to The Underground to have an audience with Kay but finds all of the others doing jigsaw puzzles … because that’s what Key told them to do. Jane is flabbergasted by their behavior and tries to get them to rise up and maybe live a little but they’re as much help as Cliff was. Jane decides it’s time to pay a visit to Shelley at the Sweets Shop, and finally she gets a warm welcome. Shelley hoped Jane would come back but wasn’t going to try to force her. Jane struggles to admit that she is feeling something for Shelley, and when she finally gets up the courage to give her a kiss … she can’t. And she doesn’t know why, and it’s pissing her off, so she leaves.
After ignoring Jane, Cliff finds himself talking to the hand, his hand, which has now somehow become a sort of Jiminy Rory, talking to Cliff and basically giving him a hard time for not helping Jane. But Cliff, perhaps feeling that this is some manifestation of his Parkinsons, tries to ignore his hand as well. But it gets to him and he begins to talk back, saying that he’s a bad person and he really doesn’t deserve any kind of friendship, love or happiness. But the hand shows him that’s not true because of one recent act — Cliff didn’t destroy the frozen zombie butt. He took pity on this thing that was once alive, and even though it is a zombie butt, he still couldn’t disrespect its frozen carcass. Realizing that maybe the hand is right, Cliff goes to Jane to apologize, to really mend some fences with her, even removing the oven mitt from his new hand to hold hers, and then they both agree it’s time to kick some Immortus ass and get her longevity back. But before they do, Willoughby appears and warns them that they have to protect Cliff and Larry. He also tells Jane that Bunbury was trying to protect her by taking her longevity, but Immortus’ minions came to get it, apparently killing the furry creature and doing a number on Willoughby. Even more reason for them to go look for a fight!
Vic
Vic’s friend Derek is giving him a ride back to Cloverton — and it’s still not clear how Vic got himself to Detroit — after Vic did eventually revert to a baby, and Derek had to change his diaper. A little something Vic asks him to never talk about again. Derek is curious as to why, out of anywhere he could have gone, did Vic chose to come to his place all the way in Detroit? It was a weird night, Vic says, and it’s not every day they get hit with a youth spell. Derek begins to see this as some ‘Level 9 magic’ from one of the games they used to play. But when they return to Doom Manor, they find something unusual — even for Doom Manor — in the kitchen: the portal that opened up and took Larry and Rama.
Larry & Rama
The last time we saw Larry, he was being sucked into a portal with Rama jumping in to save him. Where they ended up was a land in another dimension called Orqwith, Larry being led through the weird forest by men (?) in black head-to-toe leotards with giant scissors for hands, the scissors at Larry’s neck. Rama catches up and tell the Scissormen to release Larry, that he’s his target and he’ll bring him to The Sacrarium himself but when they refuse he uses his powers to tarnish their scissors. Rama says they need to go and cut a portal back to Earth, and Larry is totally confused. Rama says Larry was probably brought there because they felt he was taking too long to bring Larry in himself to extract his longevity. Larry asks if that’s what happened to Rita and wants to know exactly what Immortus is. Rama says Immortus is hope, hope that they can each have some desperate wish they’ve had but given up on. Immortus has shown them a vision of the things that lie before them, and when they usher him onto this plane he will make their wishes come true. Larry bluntly tells Rama he’s describing a genie. Is Immortus a genie? Rama says even Larry has a wish, to perhaps never be separated from Keeg? But how does Rama know Immortus has this power? He tells Larry that the temple they just saw rose from the ground when Dr. Janus deposited Rita’s longevity. Larry says it’s usually not a good sign when a bone temple spontaneously rises from the ground, bur Rama says they all have to put their faith into something. Larry asks why Rama saved him, and he said because hurting people wasn’t part of the plan, and that others have forgotten that. Rama asks Larry if he meant it when he said he would help him find another way to stabilize his molecules, and Larry says he does because no one has experience getting out of impossible situations like he and his friends. Larry promises that after they stop Immortus, they will help him. He can put his faith in Larry. Rama says Larry has his faith and he opens a portal back into the kitchen.
When they exit, Cliff is there and he wants no part of the guy who zapped them into Rita’s movies and put them on the path to losing their longevity. Larry assures Cliff that he can trust Rama and Cliff begins to feel a little sexual tension between the two men. Larry tries to brush it off but then asks Rama is there is sexual tension — there might be — but before Rama can convince Cliff he’s on their side, Keeg emerges, pushes Larry back through the portal and when Rama runs after him Keeg causes a huge explosion that knocks Cliff backwards into the pantry. Keeg then goes through the portal. Vic and Derek arrive and see the portal, and Vic kicks into superhero mode, telling Derek to stay behind. But Derek knows that Vic is vulnerable without his tech so he grabs a knife and goes in behind Vic.
Rita & Laura
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Rita and Laura are still at the bus station, back to their adult selves, but Laura has to assume that when they reverted to babies either the bus driver didn’t see them on the bench or the human race has gotten to a point that no one would lift a finger to help two babies apparently left on the bench. But when Rita asks if there is another bus to get them home, Laura tries to convince her they have a mission to carry out. Rita just wants to lay down and make peanut brittle. Laura tells her enough of that nonsense, they will get her longevity back and save the universe. Laura suspects that someone at the Bureau picked up the Immortus Project where Niles left off, finding a way to actually conjure Immortus, and to stop all of this they have to go back to where it all began — the Bureau. Rita is not down with that, but Laura tells her their friends are in danger and … they are heroes, are they not? Rita gives in and Laura asks her how they get in. Rita says that’s the leader’s job but Laura tells Rita she is the leader. Laura was only the leader for one little moment out of necessity, but Rita is the true leader. Laura knows how to play to Rita’s vanity.
Cut to the Ant Farm, and Rita is disguised as a dirty bucket of water while Laura as transformed herself into an old male janitor. Rita is able to snatch a key card so they can get access to the Records Department, and when they get there they find an empty space where the Immortus Project records are kept. Laura looks at the card to see who last checked them out and is stunned when she sees the date — January 13, 1955 — and the borrower, Asset 34771, which she quickly tries to hide from Rita, telling her it’s a dead end and time to go home. Nothing to see here, maybe one of the others can find out more but it’s time for them to go. Rita finds this reversal in Laura’s gung-ho behavior a bit suspicious and demands to know who checked out the records. Laura gets emotional and tells Rita is was Wally Sage, the man she once deemed a weapon and the man who killed Malcolm. It all started right there with Wally, and now this is all happening because she put him there. Rita tries to tell Laura it’s not her fault, but Laura says it was she who doomed him and others to that hell, and now her past has come to exact penance. Laura begins to question her life just as Cliff did, wondering how she deserves anything but a life of pain. Rita snaps into leader mode — and friend mode — and says if they have to confront their pasts that’s what they’ll do even if Laura obviously does not like confronting her past. Rita says she’s the leader and Laura has to do what she says so she will take them to Wally’s cell and deal with it.
When they get to the cell, the walls are covered with pages and pages of drawings and one that Rita discovers is Malcolm’s last moments is particularly disturbing. Also written on one wall is ‘Enter the Kingdom of Orqwith’ and on the other is ‘Immortus will rise’. It seems to these eyes that Wally is most likely the artist to whom Dr. Janus and Torminox gave Rita’s longevity and Dorothy’s necklace. Wally is nowhere to be found but they hear a noise and see a face peering at them from another cell door within the cell. Laura transforms her finger into a key to try to get the door open, abd when she does she asks Wally to come out. Wally just says ‘so much pain, it will all be over soon’. Laura says they didn’t come to hurt him, but he emerges and says they already hurt him. When Rita sees Wally’s disfigured face, the shock causes her to blob out. Laura quickly transforms into a bird to get above Rita and her blob form engulfs Wally. When Rita returns to normal, she does not know what happened to Wally and when she turns to look in the cell, Laura sees papers stuck to the back of Rita’s coat. One has a drawing of Wally with a terrified look on his face. Rita panics and is certain she smushed Wally, but Rita tries to calm her. They don’t know what happened but they have to leave because the alarms are going off that intruders have been detected.
Orqwith
Everyone but Rita and Laura end up in Orqwith. Larry and Rama are in The Sacrarium, and Vic and Derek are trying to come up with a plan when they see the Scissormen. Derek had earlier noticed the odd flowers that Vic told him not to touch, but again he notices them and points out they appear to be made of paper, and like in any good game they are there for a reason. In fact, the paper flowers have pens in the middle so Derek figures that if he draws something it will become real. He starts small, a butterfly, and his assumption was right as it jumps off the page.
Larry is taken to a room where there are three figures in long robes and large head coverings, their faces hidden. Larry is placed on a table and Keeg activates, suddenly transporting Larry to The Future. He’s back in the manor being torn apart by a horde of zombie butts. He gets away and flies to space because his radiation was leaking. He tells Keeg he doesn’t know what to do, but it looks like Keeg does as he flies them to the sun. In the present, Larry asks if this is what future Keeg showed him, and now he thinks that to save the world he has to destroy Larry? He says Keeg doesn’t have to worry about that because they stopped the Buttpocalypse so they can deal with whatever is coming, just like they stopped The Brain, the Decreator, Mr. Nobody … oh, it never ends, does it? Does Keeg think it’s inevitable, that Immortus can keep them together forever? Keeg causes Larry to glow a bright white and he tells Keeg that he trusts him. Immortus can have his longevity.
Vic and Derek are still working on how to save Larry, coming up with drawings on several sheets of paper that represent the robot they built in school, with a shoulder mounted laser turret, of course. There is a rumble so they assemble the papers and they fly away, reassembling, bringing the robot into reality. Mr. Invincible is online and awaiting orders. Vic tells Derek to do the honors and he instructs Mr. Invincible to take out the Scissormen. Mr. Invincible orders the Scissormen to drop their weapons and they have five seconds to comply. Cliff and Jane show up, and Cliff has a mini keg on his hand for some reason. Cliff says he’s not taking any chances and his special hand is only meant for loving now. Jane says ew, and Cliff wonders who is on their side. Her money is on the robot. He’s outnumbered and has a huge stick up his ass. Cliff says the robot is a kindred spirit. But when Mr. Invincible is about to fire, he bursts into dozens of pages, confusing Cliff and Jane, and putting Vic and Derek into the clutches of the Scissormen. The doors to the Sacrarium open and the three robed and hooded figures emerge. Jane tells Cliff to look alve but he points out that whatever god that just destroyed the other robot can destroy him too. Jane just gets sassy with the figures, telling them they look steamy, questioning if they’ve interrupted bath time. One of them slowly walks down the stairs, stops and removes his hood. It’s Wally, and he tells Cliff he’s the final piece of the puzzle. And then both Cliff and Jane are held by the Scissormen. Cliff didn’t see that one coming. They walk to pair up the steps and Jane assures Cliff they’ve got this. It’s nothing like a rabid horde of zombie butts. And then the Rory hand decides to chirp up, asking his Pop-Pop if he remembered to close the freezer door all the way. Jane has no idea who Cliff is talking to, but Cliff has an ‘Oh, fuck’ moment. Back at Doom Manor, the zombie butt is in fact thawing out, making its way out of the freezer and into parts unknown. For now.
And when does Doom Patrol resume? Apparenly only Immortus knows. Stay tuned and we will return when the show does.
Doom Patrol will return. All episodes are now streaming on HBO Max.
What did you think of the season premiere? Sound off in the comments below!
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