The funniest episode of the season was also the one with a lot of heart as well. And I think we finally see that the “She” of the episode’s title was Iris … and Elizabeth Taylor. But more on that in a moment.
The previous episode had finally address that nagging question about the vampiric children that Alex had unwittingly unleashed on Los Angeles, and we got even more explanation and resolution to the problem she created. After a meeting with John in which Alex revealed that she chose to let The Countess turn her so she could be with Holden forever — apparently at the expense of her daughter who has basically been abandoned by both parents — Alex also told John about her problem with the children. Through some quick flashbacks, we finally got to see The Countess tell Alex that she had one chance to make things right, or she and Holden would die.
Alex takes John to the house that the kids should have abandoned, but they found them there and finally convinced them to accompany them back to the Hotel Cortez. Little did they know they’d end up in the newly created vault with a particularly angry and ravenous Ramona, who saw the new arrivals and said, “I smell appetizers.” Ramona killed Will Drake already, leaving his ghost to unfortunately haunt The Countess now for eternity (after March warned her to not kill him in the hotel), but we still don’t know if the kids ended up being more dinner for her. And can, or will, one of the infected (they’ve never really been called vampires) go for one of their own?
With John and Alex rekindling their relationship, Alex feels that it’s safe now to introduce him to Holden. But what of Sally? Oh, Sally is none-too-pleased that John is back in Alex’s good graces, wondering aloud how she will feel when she finds out John is a serial killer. Sally tries to kill John, but he stops her and leaves the hotel with Alex and Holden, with Sally vowing to destroy him. Unfortunately, she can’t leave the hotel so there’s only one way for her to make that happen: tell The Countess that Alex has taken Holden. But with John still one murder away from completing his mission, can he fulfill his (and March’s) destiny without revealing his truth to Alex? Or will Alex turn John (and their daughter?) so they can live happily ever after, forever?
Elizabeth Taylor got quite a bit of screen time this week, first in some humorous scenes with Miss Evers, and then in some more heartfelt moments later in the episode. At the top of the show, Liz had Miss Evers call her son and invite him to come to the hotel. It’s been 31 years since Liz last saw him, and she felt it was time to finally make things right. For all her help, Liz rewarded Miss Evers with a bottle of OxyClean detergent — “the oxygen is right in the liquid!” — and after treating the son so well, Liz and Iris gave Miss Evers a brand new washer and dryer. No more wringing! Miss Evers was a hoot this week.
But as to why Liz wanted to see her son … she was just done with life and the world and wanted to end it all, a feeling made all the more palpable after an elderly couple came to the hotel to take their own lives. Iris also revealed that after realizing Donovan didn’t bring her back from the brink of death because he loved her, she was ready to pack it in too. She and Liz made a suicide pact to go out together.
But, the reunion with her son went much better than expected. When her son arrived at the hotel, he was just given free drink tickets but Liz never revealed her identity, instead just having normal conversations with him. The two really seemed to hit it off, and the son even complimented Liz on her dress. On the day of his departure, Liz finally got up the nerve to tell the truth, but her son did it for her, knowing the entire time who she was. And was very cool about the whole situation, even saying there was room in his life for another woman.
And that put quite the snag in that suicide pact, and Iris felt abandoned by someone close to her yet again. But Liz came up with a new plan — take over the hotel and spruce it up, make it someplace that people besides drug addicts, porn directors and suicidal old people would want to come. Of course, there is one little matter standing in the way of that plan … The Countess.
The Countess finally lured Natacha to the hotel and the two tussled over who loved Valentino more, or who Valentino loved more. Unbeknownst to The Countess, Donovan was also paying a visit to Valentino at the same time, doing the whole lover scorned bit with him, and while The Countess finally got the upper hand on Natacha and shot her in the head, Donovan was doing the same to Valentino, murdering not only The Countess’ one true love, but her maker as well.
When The Countess instructed Donovan to dump Will’s body before it got too ripe (and to put Ramona back in the Iron Maiden), he told her she could go clean up his mess. The Countess booked it over to Valentino’s motel and discovered what Donovan had done. She was furious that he killed her love and her maker, but he told her he did it for love. Her love. And knowing that she’d never love him like she loved Valentino, he was also willing do die at her hand instead of go through eternity without her. That one act thawed her heart towards Donovan, but suddenly Iris and Liz burst into her suite, guns a-blazing. Cut to black. Does Iris get her revenge on Donovan? Does Liz get her revenge on The Countess for taking Tristan from her?
Now, from the preview for the next episode, we know The Countess is still present in the hotel, but whether she survived the gunfire or is now just a trapped spirit remains to be seen. But with how wildly Iris and Liz were firing, it’s a wonder they managed to hit anyone. Either way, killing Donovan and The Countess in the hotel isn’t going to get rid of either of them. A dead Countess is also going to have some trouble getting revenge on Alex for taking Holden, and Sally won’t be able to uphold her promise to destroy John. And what about Ramona and the children? And what kind of establishment can Iris and Liz run with the place crawling with disgruntled spirits? Is there an exorcism in the hotel’s future? We won’t find out until January 6th when the last three episodes begin to play out.
What did you think of this week’s episode? Tell us in the comments section below.