The Secret Life of Pets is a Toy Story ripoff with dogs

Universal Pictures

Universal Pictures

So before we get to our main feature it’s worth mentioning that much like a Disney release, Illumination Entertainment included a short feature before the main event. Mower Minions unsurprisingly follows the antics of several Minions in their pursuit of Banana! The short is decidedly not like what Disney releases. Rather than an artfully done piece that could prove to be Oscar worthy, Mower Minions is a silly, slapstick filled cartoon. Where the physical comedy ends, the scatological begins. Very much designed to appeal to younger children, it does so very well but ends up being forgettable in the process.

Now for our feature presentation The Secret Life of Pets. Featuring the vocal talents of Louis C.K., Eric Stonestreet, Kevin Hart, not to mention SNL alums Jenny Slate, Dana Carvey and Bobby Moynihan. This movie is just packed to the brim with comedic voice talent. Even Albert Brooks took time off from Finding Dory to lend his talents.

The film follows Max, a loyal and content little dog whose owner brings home a new dog named Duke. Max’s jealousy and hopes to drive Duke out backfire and the two dogs must make their way home through all manner of obstacles and odd characters they meet along the way. Sooo, they remade Toy Story with dogs. Yes, almost beat for beat The Secret Life of Pets is just one big rip off of Pixar’s first feature film. Well if you’re going to steal, steal from the best. It’s a very simple and easily relatable set up for a story. Protagonist feels threatened, new guy usurps their place, bonding road trip, yadda yadda yadda, you know the rest.

So Pets must be a slam dunk right? Toy Story is one of the most successful and beloved animated films of all time. How can you screw that up? The answer is by mixing in far too many jokes about poop and pee, plus adding in tonal shifts that are so dark small children could be pretty disturbed by them.

What I will say is certain children in just the right age group, let’s say eight to fourteen, will probably really enjoy this movie. If that’s who you’re taking, congrats, your theater going experience will be a success. However if you plan on taking any small children or you’re an adult who enjoys animated films, this one will not be your cup of tea.

Rather that feeling like one coherent film it felt much more like a series of shorts, like Tom and Jerry cartoons mashed together end to end with a loose narrative thread barely tying them together. No flow, character arcs feel sloppily introduced and lazily resolved. Now I’m holding this film up to the standards that Disney/Pixar has set in recent years, and that’s a tall order. This is in no way saying that this is a bad movie. It is just a movie that set its sights on a very specific audience and played very directly to that audience. On the Illumination Entertainment scale, this was less Despicable Me and more Minions.

What I said earlier about tonal shifts? Frankly surprised me. When we meet Hart’s cute little bunny character his demented demeanor and violent attitude seemed harsh for such a cutesy film. When the deaths of multiple animals are referenced, one happening pretty graphically on film, the fact that it’s a silly cartoon bumps up against an animal literally being smashed to death and set afire played for laughs. Just disturbing. A dog’s paralysis was used as a joke in the marketing! What is this movie?

Once you pick up on the Toy Story parallels is when the film really falls to pieces. The relationship between Max and Duke should be the lynch pin of the film. Instead their conflict and relationship feels like an afterthought, unearned and unsatisfying.

So if you have kids of a certain age, or maybe you’re just kind of an immature adult, this is a passable way to kill a couple hours on a hot summer day. For those of you expecting the next Zootopia or even the next Megamind, save your money for something else.

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