Grey’s Anatomy :: Sex & Boats

ABC

Sometimes I wonder why I’m still watching Grey’s Anatomy, other than the not-quite-300-episodes/14 seasons that I’ve already invested, but episodes like tonight’s make it almost all worth it again. We saw the revival of the intern mixer! That’s something that — other than forced-flashback-with-reshoot — I’m pretty sure we haven’t seen since Season 1 back when Meredith, Alex, and the other three were interns fresh off the med-school bus! Speaking of fresh interns — did anyone notice how ‘Glasses’ is among the new crop? Sports-band or no sports-band, I can see disaster in his future. And what’s with that intern DeLuca? Ex-girlfriend? Another sister? Clearly DeLuca has Grey-Syndrome, with an infinite number of untold sisters who just pop up when the plot needs a push in the twist/new-character direction.

Speaking of new characters, please oh please oh please don’t say that Dr. AllyMcBeal is staying on to replace Riggs/Ben Warren. Now that Riggs & Megan are living happily ever after on the beachy coasts of California — and existing like they never existed inside the Grey-Sloan-Memorial bubble — we’re down one male doctor. And with Ben Warren about to make his exit into this yet-to-be-named-and-sure-to-tank-spinoff, that leaves us down two. But Dr. AllyMcBeal — whose arrogant and jerkface character has made such an impression on me that I can’t even remember his name — needs to not be the replacement. There is nothing charming about his persona and attitude, and nothing overtly genius about it either. He too needs to vanish into the parking lot of no return, sooner rather than later. Wave ‘hi’ to Erica Hahn while you’re out there.

GUNGINA. Is now a thing. Because now we’re all thinking about whether or not the vaginal muscles are actually strong enough to contract on a pistol trigger and fire it — from inside the vagina. (Clearly that girl was doing her Kegels!) This might be the best patient mishap since the ten Judy Doll heads swallowed early in season 2, though I did LOVE Webber getting to say he once pulled a pen out of a male stripper’s penis b/c the guy wanted to sign autographs with it. THAT was brilliant. The overall approach to the humor of the patients featured in this episode was great. The hypochondriac … who clearly has been in the ER every week once a week for the whole 15 years … and we’ve never seen him before … as well as Gungina and brain-tumor-mom. It was nice to see some, albeit minor, focus back on patient cases!

Let’s talk about the whole Amelia and Owen sex thing for a second. No, they didn’t have sex. Haven’t we learned that ex-sex is bad news? Maybe Owen remembers that from all the ex-sex he had with Christina. People can’t even be mad that Amelia hopped straight into bed with Dr. AllyMcBeal (I mean — I’m mad that such a gesture and action might be cause for him to stick around into next week, but that aside …) and that Owen was caught making out with DeLuca’s older, hot — and apparently bisexual — sister. I would say poor Arizona, but since she seems to hop through lovers like it’s no big thing, and really needs to be focused on Sofia’s homecoming, it’s probably best that she just move on. And maybe try figuring out who she is and what it is she wants to do with her life right now. But back to Amelia and Owen! It’s called rebounding! Something neither one of them are good at but should probably start trying to do! It’ll be nice to see them both having meaningless “get-it-on-get-it-out” sex to help cleanse the palette after one another. Unless of course the rebound sex with Dr. AllyMcBeal means he’s staying. In which case, Amelia needs to pull a Guinevere and hitch off to a convent.

I loved the boat. Jackson is arrogant, but whatever. It’s a boat. And that episode was so similar to the “boys in the woods” camping trip of season 3 with Burke, Shepherd, Webber, Alex, and George. Also Joe from the bar and his partner! Except this boat nonsense was way funnier, and way more successful. Mostly. Is this seriously the new boy-posse of Grey-Sloan? I guess it is, minus Webber since he was back at the hospital planning the intern mixer. Boat time is hilarious time, even if Ben’s segue of “here is me loudly announcing that I’m getting my own spin-off” was such a hardcore non-sequitur from way out in left field.

Yay for Jo and her figuring out that she needs to live her life. Meredith, doing that Derek thing — you go girl, getting nominated for a Harper Avery! And Jackson — after he settled his spending spree — turning into Izzie with “I must do good with this money.” He didn’t build the Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic (which must also be in the parking lot of no return, I think the last time we heard that mentioned was during season 5 or early season 6) but he’s going to fund a surgical competition with half of a quarter of a billion dollars. And would he just get his crap together and figure out this Maggie thing? Dude, she’s not your sister. And she’s clearly jonsing for you. Poop or get off the pot. If I have to say it before the midseason break, Jackson can shack up with Amelia in the convent.

All in all an uplifting episode, even if Mer and Jo’s patient died. And Bailey is going to be on the warpath once she learns what Ben is up to. Here’s hoping next week’s big 300th episode lives up to expectations and doesn’t suck!

Grey’s Anatomy airs Thursday at 8:00 PM on ABC.

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